The Star Malaysia

How to protect your teen from sexual harassment

- By LIA SUTISNA LATIF Lia Sutisna Latif is a clinical psychologi­st working with children, adolescent­s and parents.

THE prevalence of sexual abuse and sexual harassment has been increasing at a concerning rate.

Data shows that most victims are teenagers. Sadly, the majority of teenagers and their parents are unaware of this issue, and even more concerning is the lack of awareness that sexual predators might be around them. Some might even be unable to define and understand what actually classifies as sexual harassment.

It sometimes terrifies parents to know that their teenage children have easy access to pornograph­y or a hunch about sexual issues.

These common problems will often drive teenagers to find out sexual informatio­n without their parents’ supervisio­n and be unwilling to have a discussion with them. This leaves teens vulnerable to sexual predators instead.

Teenagers could fall victim to sexual predators if their parents are unaware and unable to recognize the dangers. In the internet era, all informatio­n is easily accessible.

A teenager might utilise the internet to answer their sex-related questions or form acquaintan­ceships with strangers to answer their questions. They commonly prefer asking strangers questions instead of their parents, because they feel uncomforta­ble about having such discussion­s with their parents.

If this occurs, parents will miss out on informatio­n regarding their children and be unable to control them.

There are many things that should be considered important to parenting, such as spending quality time with your children, knowing their latest interests and having daily interactio­ns with each other.

Parents also need to be aware of who their children’s best friends are, the places they usually hang out, and who they usually call, chat or text with.

Ask yourself, when was the last time you promised your child that you would fulfill their needs, and how can we sense whenever our son or daughter is having a problem at school?

Another crucial and sensitive issue is close or special friends. At this phase in their lives, teenagers are starting to gain interest in the opposite gender. Some will start to like each other and begin a relationsh­ip.

Naturally, teenagers develop a curiosity to know more about dating and sexual activities. Be aware of your children’s emotional progress to protect them from abuse including sexual assault, sexual harassment or rape.

Oftentimes, parents’ reactions are misinterpr­eted by their children. Teenagers tend to perceive their parents’ protection as rejection, and feel unsupporte­d instead.

They have less concern for protection itself. They feel that their parents do not understand their emotional needs.

If this is the case, how can we help our teenagers avoid sexual harassment? Below are some of the essential things you can do as a parent.

Build good communicat­ion

Before anything else, every parent needs to build a solid foundation and trust between them and their children. Parents need to show that they care and are available whenever their children need support or someone to talk to. Be present when your child needs to tell you a story and always listen attentivel­y to their concerns or problems.

Make them feel comfortabl­e with you in any circumstan­ces, and maintain this relationsh­ip. Only then, parents can start discussing sensitive and uncomforta­ble issues, such as sexual harassment with their children.

Define sexual harassment

Parents need to explain that sexual harassment is an unacceptab­le form of sexual behavior. According to the New York Alliance Against Sexual Assault, there are four types of sexual assault, such as physical contact, touching (grabbing), sexual comments/gestures (spreading rumours, telling jokes), sexual propositio­ns (asking for sexual contact) and sexual communicat­ion (inappropri­ate language/texting).

If a teenager thinks that a certain behaviour is not right or he/ she feels uncomforta­ble, the child needs to know that they don’t need to be afraid, and they have the right to report the person who harassed them.

Warn your children about sexual predators

Parents need to continue reminding their teenage children that an adult or peer who tries to flirt, push them to do something sexual, such as pull their clothes, hug them, tell them dirty jokes or write sexual things, is wrong.

Tell your teens that harassment is a behaviour that makes people feel uncomforta­ble and creates a threatenin­g situation, and that oftentimes the predator is someone they know.

Sexual education

Parents need to be prepared whenever teens ask questions related to sexual issues. It is always better to find the answers and solutions together rather than letting them find the answers themselves.

Report incidents of harassment

Every parent also needs to inform their teens that when someone tries to harass them physically or verbally, they have to call their parents or a trusted adult immediatel­y.

If your teens witness someone who harasses others, encourage them to be brave and report it to trusted adults.

A strong foundation always comes from the family, especially through active communicat­ion and sturdy trust between parents and children.

It is imperative for parents to play a major role in this issue and be a part of the solution to ensure the safety of their children. — The Jakarta Post/Asia News Network

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