Selflessly egging on survivors
Woman determined to help others after losing mum to cancer and personal encounter
KUALA LUMPUR: Peggy Gomes did all she could to provide the best care for her cancer-stricken mother but things took a turn for the worse when she herself was diagnosed with cancer.
Right until her mother’s death, the 66-yearold had kept her delicate condition hidden.
Her Nepalese mother Maria Guri was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 1990. The cancerous cells later spread to her lungs.
“We were shocked. None of us expected it. As she was strong, it made it easier for us to accept it,” she said in an interview.
Gomes, who was working as a company secretary at the time, had to organise her mother’s medical appointments and look after her daily needs.
But not long after, she went for a routine medical check-up and the results showed that she too had cancer.
“I was devastated but had to hide it from my mother and remain strong.
“It wasn’t easy to put on a brave front,” she said.
Even as she battled with feelings of anger and deep dejection, she kept mum over her deteriorating health.
“I wasn’t in a very good position because I had to go in and out of hospital at the same time.
“At times, I couldn’t visit her and that made her very angry because she didn’t know I was actually doing my lumpectomy.
“When she asked me why I was not at her bedside, I had to tell a lie for being out of town due to work commitments,” she said.
Gomes said she decided not to tell her mother so as to not worry her.
“As a mother, I’m sure she’d have felt helpless and it could have worsened her condition.
“Come to think of it, I’m sure my mother would have become angry with me for not telling her,” she said.
Her mother passed away about four months after Gomes’ diagnosis.
Gomes did not give up and continued to fight her cancer with the support of her family.
Since successfully recovering from breast cancer in 2002, Gomes fought on to defeat the “Big C” two more times – in her lower backbone and on her right breast.
Her ordeal prompted her to help others going through similar experiences.
She became a committee member for Pink Unity, a support group for cancer patients under the National Cancer Society Malaysia (NCSM).
Overcoming her shyness, she also joined the Butterfly Dancing Group – a group of cancer survivors who took up dancing as a form of exercise – right until she became riddled with osteoarthritis and lumbar spondylosis early this year.
Despite her condition, she still regularly volunteers at NCSM’s help desk and attends their talks and activities with the aid of a walking stick.
Her journey, however, is still fraught with grief and loss, as she had to deal with the deaths of two close friends in the dancing group.
“It’s difficult when you’re close to them and you see them losing the battle.
“(But) what keeps me going (helping others) is that I would want these friends around me, at the end of my journey,” she said.