Mothers in jail lament pain of separation from children

KAJANG: Motherhood is tougher for women like them.

For Siti and Ainur (not their real names), these 30-something mothers yearn to play their parental duty from behind bars.

They are among 3,270 female inmates who are incarcerated nationwide for various offences.

Siti landed on the wrong side of the law after being found guilty for criminal breach of trust. The mother of three boys is serving a five-year sentence at the Kajang female prison.

“Rindu. Rindu sangat (I miss them so much),” she said during an interview at the prison.

Siti put up a brave front for her children when they visited her during Hari Raya this year.

“It was the first Raya that my family had with me in jail. When they came to visit, I told them to smile because it was a happy day,” she said.

Siti’s mother has guardianship over the boys who are studying at a boarding school.

“They know how to take care of themselves because they had been sent to a boarding school from a young age. As of now there haven’t been any problems,” she said.

Siti would be updated of their wellbeing during their monthly visits.

Ainur, a mother of five, is serving a-year-and-a-half jail term for forging documents.

Besides her three adult children, she is also mother to a seven-year old stepson and eight-year-old stepdaughter.

She did not have the heart to tell the two young stepchildren the whole truth.

“I told them that I was going away for a while. I didn’t say exactly why. My family had merely told them that I was at work.

“But they eventually found out. Initially, my parents wanted to take care of them but they couldn’t do so later because of illness. So, they had to be taken care of by the state,” she added.

Since her two older children did not qualify as guardians, she had to plead for the two stepchildren to be placed in a temporary home in the meantime.

Her friend who works at the home promised to keep an eye on them while Ainur completes her jail term.

Ainur’s grown-up children would visit the younger ones often to ensure they are doing fine.

Both Siti and Ainur were hesitant to divulge much about their personal life or information about their life partners.

At present, Ainur is appealing against her sentence, so that she could just be merely fined and be reunited with her children soon.

“My family is working hard to get them back. The two would be sent to a shelter if I don’t claim them by December.

“If that happens, it will be another problem for me to get them back because of the procedures involved.”

Her first few months in the Kajang prison had been difficult as she was constantly worried about the two young children.

“I took care of them since birth. When I was sent here, all I could think of was how they are coping.

“At least I have my older children to be there. But I’m still a mother. I miss them so much,” she said.

The last time she saw the two was during the Hari Raya holidays.

But even then, it was a short visit that was under close supervision of prison guards.

“They cried. They asked me why I left. They asked me why I had to give them up to the orphanage.

“How do you answer questions like that?

“I can’t describe my feelings in words. All I could do was ask them to be patient.”

As Ainur counts the days to her freedom, she would often reflect on her actions that led to her incarceration.

“Of course I have my regrets. If I could turn back time, I would.”

They cried. They asked me why I left. They asked me why I had to give them up to the orphanage. How do you answer questions like that? Ainur