Fatherhood in the time of Covid-19
These are strange days for first-time fathers who have to grapple with not being present for the delivery of their child for safety’s sake and being super careful when they get their precious addition to the family home.
TODAY, the world celebrates fathers everywhere.
As we are still in the middle of a pandemic, men who became fathers during this period are hoping for the best: that their children can experience a Covid-19-free life soon.
With his newborn daughter nestled safely in his arms, corporate travel account manager, Adam Chooi, 35, hopes for two things this Fathers Day:
“I hope to be able to provide well for my family, especially since the pandemic has hit the travel industry badly.
“But above all, I wish for a cure for Covid-19 so that my baby will grow up in a normal way, how I did,” says Chooi, who welcomed his daughter, Elise, on April 8 during the movement control order (MCO) period.
For now, it’s just a pity he can’t take his daughter outdoors, he adds, and her world is confined to their house and the hospital.
On the delivery date, Chooi was stopped at a roadblock while driving his wife to Assunta Hospital in Petaling Jaya.
“Thankfully, this wasn’t a problem because the doctor gave us letters to show that we needed to go to the hospital,” says Chooi.
The hospital adhered to standard operating procedures to prevent Covid-19 transmission – which meant Chooi was not allowed to be in the operating theatre for the Caesarean-section birth.
“I was only able to see my wife and baby when they were discharged,” he says.
Apart from a little while right after the birth, waiting two days to see his wife and child properly couldn’t have been easy for Chooi – especially as it is the couple’s first baby.
Chooi knew his wife was weak from the operation and wanted to take care of her.
“When I was finally able to see them, I felt so relieved.
“Before that, I could only see photographs of my daughter sent via phone,” Chooi says.
Once they got home with their precious addition, the couple remained careful, not allowing visitors for a while.
“My mum and siblings only came last week once the recovery MCO period started – two months after my daughter was born.
“They each brought a fresh set of clothes and showered when they arrived here before approaching the baby.
“It sounds like a lot of trouble to some people but we think it is necessary,” he says.
And until she is bigger and the Covid-19 situation improves, this is how it will be for their visitors.
Ben Ng, 32, a public relations specialist, says he and his wife were in “good hands” at the hospital for their son’s birth.
“The hospital had strict crowd control measures.
“We were required to take a Covid-19 test before admission.
“We were also told that the hospital staff undergo these tests regularly,” he shares.
Now that they’re home, says Ng, they have to be cautious about who they mingle with, especially as people can be asymptomatic.
Calling fatherhood a “game changer” in his life, he says he now has to prioritise the wellbeing and prosperity of his little family. (Ng didn’t want them photographed.)
“Holding my firstborn and seeing him grow makes me happy every day,” he says.
Ng thanks his father, as his patience and guidance helped to prepare Ng to become a dad.
“I still have much to learn in the weeks, months and years to come!” he adds.
There is one thing Ng hopes for: that fathers would be given at least one week of paternity leave.
“My company currently offers three days of paternity leave, but I took additional annual leave.
“Three days is too few, as dads also play an important role in supporting mothers throughout the confinement period.
“This is especially true for firsttime parents,” he points out.
A 31-year-old content creator who wishes to be known only as Shah is thrilled to play his new role as a father to his son, born on May 12.
“The fact that my son was born during the MCO period was a bit of a challenge.
“But being forced to stay at home more, including working from home, has been a blessing in disguise for us.
“I am able to spend more time with my son and help my wife take care of him,” he says.
As for the delivery, Shah, too, could not see his wife and baby through that lifechanging moment and had to be wait until they were discharged.
“It was a bit frustrating that I could not spend the first few days of my son’s life with him. But safety comes first,” he says.
Until now, the couple has not taken their son out of the house other than for his checkups.
“I only leave the house for work and to buy necessities.
“When I come home, I will not hold my son until I have taken a shower,” Shah shares.
With Father’s Day being celebrated in such extraordinary times, he hopes all Malaysians will continue to comply with SOPs so that we can contain the Covid-19 pandemic.
“Many still continue to flout the rules, and I find that rather selfish.
“I also wish that no father, or anyone for that matter, will ever have to go through the pain of seeing their loved ones become infected.
“Fingers crossed, hopefully a vaccine will be available by the year’s end so we can all finally return to normal life,” Shah says.