On consent, relationships and sexuality
sunday@thestar.com.my
SOMETHING has been happening on Twitter lately.
Over the past few months and right up to a few days ago, Malaysian women have been speaking out about their experiences of sexual assault, sharing instances in which they were directly attacked or in some situations became victims of insidious sexual manipulation and gaslighting.
The conversations have led many Malaysians to open their eyes to the harrowing reality of sexual abuse and its prevalence in this country.
In most instance, incidents of sexual harassment and assault do not get reported here. But even looking at what numbers have been recorded in itself paints a distressing picture.
A survey by YouGov Omnibus released in August last year revealed that over a third of Malaysian women, or 36%, have experienced sexual harassment.
In 2015, the Women’s Centre for Change (WCC) Penang said that on average, 3,000 rape cases are reported every year in Malaysia. Community studies from 1996, 2000 and 2011 show that one in 10 children in Malaysia – about 750,000 – are sexually abused.
Police statistics on victims and the number of cases reported to the Welfare Department are lower but still significant. In 2017, out of the 1,582 rape cases reported to the police, almost 80% (1,257) involved victims (all women and girls) below the age of 18. At least onethird of the rape cases reported to the police from January to October last year involved juvenile perpetrators.
A big concern that needs to be addressed in sexual education is about the concept of consent, a fundamental aspect in relationships, and what it means.
“Consent is the act of giving permission and agreeing to do something between more than one person,” spells out Izza Izelan, executive director of gender and youth empowerment NGO WOMEN:girls.
If there is no consent, a sexual act becomes an assault. Consent should be free, voluntary, informed and clear. It should not be under threat or fear, false conception or intoxication, she explains.
“In some cases, the victims say they don’t know whether they have given consent or not. This is why it is important for everyone to understand what consent is because you never know which side of consent you are on.
“If you are not sure, if it is a fuzzy situation, it is not consent. It is also OK for someone to change their mind if they no longer feel comfortable.
“If they agreed to a physical relationship but midway decide against it, if the thought that they do not want to continue comes up, it is no longer consent,” she says, adding
Sex education should be about ‘more than just the physical and biological aspects’, says Izza. — IZZa IZeLan
that a person should always be allowed to step away.
“If consent is withdrawn during intercourse, the partner has to stop, but given that it is made very clear that consent is withdrawn without ambiguity. If the partner continues beyond the point of withdrawal of consent, it will be considered rape. However, the weight and integrity of ‘consent’ has to be respected and used tactfully, and not abused,” says Izza.
When we normalise consent and the conversation around consent, it creates a healthier relationship between partners, says Izza.
“If you don’t talk about it, the natural decision will fall on the person who has power in that relationship. And gender-based violence tends to typically start with that. To eliminate that imbalance of power, there needs to be conversations on consent,” she says.
Moving forward, discussions of sexual health should also encompass other interlinking elements of relationships and should not be limited to physical reproduction.
Internationally, the United Nations advocates “Comprehensive Sexuality Education” which addresses the cognitive, emotional, physical and social aspects of sexuality.
“The main point here is to not just teach about intercourse but also the million more steps that come before it. To promote health, wellbeing, and to learn respect for human rights, gender choice and equality,” says Izza.
A comprehensive education on sexuality and relationships is necessary because the issues surrounding mental and physical health cannot be overlooked when addressing sex.
“Because there is the term ‘sexual’, people think it is just about sex. It is more than just the physical and biological aspects. It comes with consent, the cognitive and emotional parts too,” she says.
The new health education syllabus in the PEERS (reproductive and social health education) curriculum will see general information on statutory rape being included in the Year Six textbook. In Form Five, starting next year, the topic will be further discussed in the context of sexual assault.