Couples long to be with each other again

WEDDING bells were supposed to ring this year for engaged Malaysians and their foreign partners.

But their big day can only happen once our borders are open for them to reunite.

Above all, these lovebirds long to see each other in person again, after months of separation.

“It has been a rollercoaster ride of emotions,” sighs Santhi Subbaya, 41, who has been apart from her fiancé from Denmark for over seven months.

They had plans to register their marriage this year, and throw an intimate celebration in Malaysia and Denmark.

But all this will have to be held later at an unforeseeable time.

“My fiancé was working in Peru and tried to fly into Malaysia before the movement control order (MCO) began in March.

“Many countries were starting to have lockdowns and a lot of flights were cancelled at that time.

“So he only managed to fly to Thailand, and we had hoped to wait for the MCO to be lifted.

“We thought it would be a month, and didn’t expect it to be this long,” she explains.

Her fiancé, a field engineer, then flew back to his country and the couple have been apart since.

“During a pandemic, we would want to be with our loved ones.

“Being alone during these times of uncertainty is very stressful. It’s been a mix of sadness, anxiety, loneliness and also holding on to the hope to see each other again.

“We often have sleepless nights and ‘zombie’ days like a numbness of not knowing how to feel anymore,” Santhi expresses.

She hopes travel restrictions would be lifted for cases like hers.

“I plead with the Malaysian government to allow unmarried couples and families to be reunited, even with strict standard operating procedures and reasonable quarantine charges.

“We only want to be with our loved ones,” Santhi adds.

A teacher who wishes to be known only as Amy, 37, was supposed to get married with her boyfriend, who is from India, but her plans now hang in the balance due to the current situation.

“My fiancé works in the US and can’t enter Malaysia.

“Come December, it will be almost a year since we last saw each other in person.

“I miss him very much and this is weighing heavily on us,” she says, adding that she had already booked her wedding reception venue at a hotel in Petaling Jaya.

While the couple keeps in touch daily with video calls, it is just not the same as being in each other’s presence.

“We are willing to comply with requirements for international travel in this new normal.

“I hope the government realises that it is our right to get married too,” she says.

To curb the spread of the virus, Malaysia recently decided to ban citizens from 23 countries with over 150,000 Covid-19 cases, which includes the Unites States, United Kingdom, Indonesia and the Philippines.

As such, some Malaysians who are married to citizens from these countries have to spend more time apart from their spouses.

Norazwan Nordin, 46, a fraud content expert at a credit card company, married his Indonesian wife in November last year.

The couple registered their marriage in both Malaysia and Indonesia but his wife has yet to apply for her Long-Term Social Visit Pass, often referred to as the spouse visa.

“We last saw each other in March. So it has been nearly seven months that we have been away from one another.

“She is in Jakarta now, and I feel depressed not knowing when I can be with her again.

“She just turned 40 and we are trying to start a family. So for us, time is of the essence,” he says.

Meanwhile, homemaker Valerie G. Almeda, 37, whose husband is in the Philippines, is struggling to manage their two young children all alone, while shifting to a new house.

She says she has not seen her husband since the end of February.

Her husband, a regional human resources manager, travels for work and stays in Malaysia between four to 10 weeks at a time.

“He was due to travel here in late March but unfortunately, the borders were closed.

“I’m now acting as both father and mother in the midst of this pandemic and I’m afraid I’m not doing my best.

“Our movements are restricted at the moment, we hardly go to public areas - only when it’s necessary such as grocery shopping,” she says.

It has been challenging, and Valerie says her husband has missed both his kids’ birthdays this year.

“My husband feels sad and helpless and my daughter constantly asks when he will be back.

“All I can tell my husband and children is that we have to wait and things will be better,” she says.