Steps towards maturity

LIVING in a multicultural and multireligious society where social media use is prevalent, we are constantly inundated with a variety of opinions on a variety of issues.

I see these opinions falling into three broad groups. The first are opinions that are indeed astute, thoughtful and reflective. The second group comprises obtuse and ignorant opinions. And the third are those that are deliberately provocative and inciteful.

Exchanging opinions on Malaysian social media is akin to two tennis players serving against each other from two different courts while a third player is adamantly arguing that they should play badminton instead. It is hilariously pointless, decidedly futile, and foolishly maddening. But we do it still.

Clearly, we need to do better if we are to become a truly mature society. We must not be triggered and riled up so easily by opinions that we rush to respond and lose sight of what the issue is really about or why it is being brought up.

I offer four steps that could take us further along the path towards maturity.

Step one is realisation. We should realise that just because we can say it, doesn’t mean we have to or even should. Of course, not everyone has the time, finesse and capacity to think clearly or to think twice. Some decidedly suffer from selective amnesia that often leads to verbal diarrhoea. We must not become them.

Step two is our response. We can’t control what is said by others but we can control how we respond. We can even decide if an opinion is worthy of our response. Granted that some may have an acid tongue or poisoned pen, but that still should not dictate our response.

How would you feel if “I miss you” was said to you by your spouse and by a random ehailing driver? One is surely lovely and the other somewhat creepy depending on how adventurous you are. My point is, opinions are just opinions. They are words, and words should not dictate how we feel. We alone can decide the weight of these words and consciously parse how they affect our feelings. In short, our response needs to be measured.

Step three is about using our opinions to uplift instead of pull down. If your opinion is about pointing out the flaws of another while not acknowledging your own, keep it to yourself. Send your words out to raise positive energy, not negative vibes.

Remember, the light we see in others is a reflection of our inner self. If you really can’t see anything good in others, well, life is indeed difficult for the blind.

Step four is about standing behind your words. Walk the talk rather than just talk about it. Take up a cause, use your opinion to help feed and shelter the homeless, and stop your neighbour from open burning and big companies from polluting. Speak to the needs of others, including stray animals. Your opinion should effect positive change in society, not further divide it.

Perhaps these ideas could help us transition to become a mature society. A mature multicultural and multireligious society that is not easily rattled by those who spew opinions to sow hatred, chaos and division for the sake of uplifting themselves at the expense of everybody else.

But what do I know? This is just my opinion. Even if you disagree with me, we can still be kind to each other.