Meriam Alfonso, owner of Kayra and Coast by Kayra
WHEN Meriam Alfonso first opened Kerala-influenced eatery Kayra over eight years ago, she wasalsoa full-timelawyer with her own practice.
Once she realised the rigours of the F&B industry, she gave up practising law and has since been fully immersed in the business, which has moved from Taman Tun Dr Ismail to Bangsar. Kayra has flourished in those intervening years and is now a Michelin Selected restaurant. This year, Meriam opened her second eatery, the seafood-influenced Coast by Kayra in Starhill Gallery.
Through all of this, the hard-working Meriam has also been a very present mother to her two children – Gabriel Eli Siva, 14, and Sophie Ruth Siva, 11. “When I started Kayra eight years ago, the kids were really young – my daughter was two years old and my son was five, so at the time, the challenges were different. I used to insist that we close the restaurant lunch and dinner so I could rush back home.
“I have a very good support system so either me, my dad or my mum used to pick them up from school. I wanted to spend evenings with them, which was easier back then because I could just read them a story and they were asleep by 7pm.
“But it was also very hard, because suddenly I wasn’t free on weekends and public holidays and they didn’t understand why. As a mother in F&B, it is really very tough – you are trying to make the business a success and at the same time, you are mothering and nurturing and wanting to be present,” she says.
Initially, Meriam says she used to get her kids to also come to the restaurant to have meals so she could spend more time with them, but that often proved very distracting for her.
“As a mother, you try everything because at some point, the guilt will come and you will wonder ‘Am I neglecting them?’ So last time, I was like ‘They must be there’ but actually when they were in the restaurant, I was not present with them and I was constantly distracted because my team would be talking to me and my kids would be telling me stories about their day. So now I don’t force them to come to the restaurant – unless they themselves want to,” she says.
As her kids have gotten older and more used to her hectic schedule, Meriam says they have developed a better rhythm as a family and she now carves out time to have weekend brunches or teas with her kids – who have also become foodies.
“I am very close to my kids, but they have different needs now as they are growing older, so I prefer to be present when I spend time with them and for us to really talk and bond.
“So our weekends are spent either doing brunches or teas; I work around the F&B system because I can’t beat it. As a mother, I have a lot on my plate but I just make the best of it and hope it’s enough for me and enough for them,” she says.
Ultimately though, Meriam says she hopes that by showing her children how hard she works, they will have a better understanding of how the real world works and what it takes to be self-sufficient and realise their own goals and dreams.
“Now my son and daughter openly tell me ‘Oh mum, I am so proud of you’, so the understanding and appreciation is there. And I think it is important for both of them to see how the real world works, because I tell them all the time that they need to be independent.
“So I think it is crucial for them to see that there is a lot of hard work that goes into building something and hopefully it is something they can translate into their own lives,” says Meriam.