Just for the record

The Sun (Malaysia) - - SPEAK UP -

90kg of prawns, 1,008 eggs, 90kg of bean sprouts, and 80kg of chicken – were binned for health pur­poses.

Much ear­lier, there was a com­pe­ti­tion to de­cide the “long­est golf drive on an air­port run­way” for pur­poses of get­ting into the book. When laughed at, the or­gan­is­ers said that in other coun­tries, pro­fes­sional golfers had been in­vited to hit from one roof-top to a make-shift green on an­other. But ev­ery­one knows that when the ball lands on a hard sur­face such as asphalt on a run­way, the ball is likely to run al­most twice the dis­tance! By the way, the recog­nised world record in a com­pe­ti­tion is 515 yards (471m) by 64-yearold Mike Austin in 1974 at the US Se­nior Na­tional Open Qual­i­fier.

But there are so many other un­recog­nised “records” in this coun­try which have not got into the books. For ex­am­ple, there are 1.2 mil­lion un­li­censed mo­torists and mo­tor­cy­clists in Malaysia. These in­di­vid­u­als have com­mit­ted 231,788 traf­fic of­fences. Wouldn’t that be a record?

Don’t we al­ready have the du­bi­ous hon­our of let­ting free an adult rapist of a 14year-old af­ter he agreed to marry her? Ah­mad Syukri Yusuf, 28, faced two counts of statu­tory rape at a court in Kuch­ing – an of­fence which car­ries a max­i­mum penalty of 20 years in jail and whip­ping. Shouldn’t this go into the book too? The girl was 14 when the al­leged of­fences were com­mit­ted. Judge Afi­dah Ab­dul Rah­man dis­charged the case af­ter she was pre­sented their mar­riage cer­tifi­cate in court. (The ap­pel­late court has since re­in­stated the case.)

Didn’t the gov­ern­ment ban the use of yel­low ap­parel and be­come the laugh­ing stock of the world? It be­came the first democ­racy to dic­tate the colour of clothes its cit­i­zens could wear. For­tu­nately, the ju­di­ciary ruled that it was il­le­gal and hence, busi­ness­men who had stocks of yel­low cloth did not file for bankruptcy

So, to those ob­sessed with records, get­ting into the book and five min­utes of fame, here are some way­ward sug­ges­tions:

The first man to take a goat up to the view­ing bridge in the Petronas Twin Tow­ers. Nobody has achieved this feat and it is not dif­fi­cult to beat! Pro­vided the man­age­ment gives you per­mis­sion.

What about pre­par­ing a bowl of por­ridge with the big­gest va­ri­ety of fish? It’s not that dif­fi­cult – go to the mar­ket and buy one each of the dif­fer­ent types of fish and stew them for the record.

Ditto for veg­eta­bles – to cre­ate the largest mixed veg­etable dish. There are so many veg­gies avail­able and for a change, you don’t have to pour it down the drain be­cause of health rea­sons. You could call the en­tire neigh­bour­hood and tah pau for them.

Be­come the first to be ac­cused of de­mean­ing a reli­gion by re­fer­ring to the

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