Just for the record

90kg of prawns, 1,008 eggs, 90kg of bean sprouts, and 80kg of chicken – were binned for health purposes.

Much earlier, there was a competition to decide the “longest golf drive on an airport runway” for purposes of getting into the book. When laughed at, the organisers said that in other countries, professional golfers had been invited to hit from one roof-top to a make-shift green on another. But everyone knows that when the ball lands on a hard surface such as asphalt on a runway, the ball is likely to run almost twice the distance! By the way, the recognised world record in a competition is 515 yards (471m) by 64-yearold Mike Austin in 1974 at the US Senior National Open Qualifier.

But there are so many other unrecognised “records” in this country which have not got into the books. For example, there are 1.2 million unlicensed motorists and motorcyclists in Malaysia. These individuals have committed 231,788 traffic offences. Wouldn’t that be a record?

Don’t we already have the dubious honour of letting free an adult rapist of a 14year-old after he agreed to marry her? Ahmad Syukri Yusuf, 28, faced two counts of statutory rape at a court in Kuching – an offence which carries a maximum penalty of 20 years in jail and whipping. Shouldn’t this go into the book too? The girl was 14 when the alleged offences were committed. Judge Afidah Abdul Rahman discharged the case after she was presented their marriage certificate in court. (The appellate court has since reinstated the case.)

Didn’t the government ban the use of yellow apparel and become the laughing stock of the world? It became the first democracy to dictate the colour of clothes its citizens could wear. Fortunately, the judiciary ruled that it was illegal and hence, businessmen who had stocks of yellow cloth did not file for bankruptcy

So, to those obsessed with records, getting into the book and five minutes of fame, here are some wayward suggestions:

The first man to take a goat up to the viewing bridge in the Petronas Twin Towers. Nobody has achieved this feat and it is not difficult to beat! Provided the management gives you permission.

What about preparing a bowl of porridge with the biggest variety of fish? It’s not that difficult – go to the market and buy one each of the different types of fish and stew them for the record.

Ditto for vegetables – to create the largest mixed vegetable dish. There are so many veggies available and for a change, you don’t have to pour it down the drain because of health reasons. You could call the entire neighbourhood and tah pau for them.

Become the first to be accused of demeaning a religion by referring to the