Daddy knows all

> The challenge of being a father in the scientific age is that his children expect him to be the font of all knowledge

use on husbands.

“You are under my control. Put down that beer, lightly season yourself with soy sauce and come to me.”

The report said that the Turtle Brain Control System could “give the user a sense of oneness with the controlled animal”.

Who wants a feeling of oneness with a turtle? Better to achieve oneness with the Buddha. Or maybe Scarlett Johansson.

But the most worrying recent report on the science page was the news that Facebook has a team of 60 people working on a device that reads your brainwaves and types out the words.

When this gets launched “all males are going to be in deep trouble”.

A colleague told me that academics from the University of Zurich have proposed the creation of a Mental Privacy law that makes it illegal to read someone’s mind.

It sounds good in theory, but a) we won’t be able to tell, and b) who’s going to confess?

“Oops, sorry, I read your mind, you’re one sick dude, arrest me now.”

Incidentally, I do realise that one day my child will come home from school saying: “Dad, my teacher says ham does not come from hamsters. It comes from pigs.”

I have my response prepared: “Yes, I’ve heard that theory too, but fathers who are Scientific Thinkers always keep an open mind.”

Nury Vittachi is an Asiabased frequent traveller. Send ideas and comments to lifestyle. nury@thesundaily.com.