Don’t be a distracted parent

> Parents today are guilty of ignoring their responsibilities to their children, resulting in problem kids and other untoward incidents

YOU BRING your children to the playground. While they swing, slide, and clamber up monkey bars, you are updating your Facebook status. When they ask you to play with them, you ignore them as you are too engrossed in your phone.

Here’s another scenario. You are doing housework while your husband is supposed to mind the kids. He parks them in front of the TV and plays games on his mobile phone.

Chances are, these incidents are happening more frequently than you care to admit.

Studies have shown that the more absorbed parents are with their smartphones, the more behavioural problems their children are likely to display.

What is even more worrying is how parents’ preoccupation with their smartphones while minding their kids can turn deadly.

Last year in China, a toddler was run over by an SUV while the mother played on her phone. Here in Malaysia, a 6-year old girl fell from an escalator while her mother was fiddling with her phone.

In a recent social experiment video on YouTube conducted by prankster Joey Salads, a child was ‘kidnapped’ right under the nose of a father whose eyes were glued to his phone.

After a while, the father looked up and realised that his boy was nowhere to be seen at the playground. Fortunately, his child was safe and sound.

The experiment had been set up by his wife, who was worried about him letting his guard down while watching their son. Hopefully he learnt his lesson.

Don’t wait until a tragedy happens, or until your children have morphed into uncontrollable brats. Here are some strategies on how to minimise tech distractions.

Block off certain hours Mealtime and playtime should be gadget-free, so that you can interact with your children instead of the screen. It is easy to fall into the trap of being physically present, but emotionally absent. Turn off the phone and concentrate on the moment.

Switch your phone to silent If the temptation to check your phone every minute is too great to handle, turn off the notifications, or set your phone to silent mode. Most of us have become slaves to our phone; when it pings, we dutifully check it out.

Allocate daily phone time Make a conscious effort to check your emails and social media only at certain times of the day.

For example, handle your emails twice a day only – once in the morning, and a second time in the evening, and Facebook only during lunch time.

Avoid playing games Delete the various games and apps that you are addicted to. If you don’t dare to go cold turkey by deleting them all, start with small steps. Delete one this week, delete another the following week, and so on.

Lock your phone away in a drawer, or put it in another room. If you are in the living room, stash it in the wardrobe upstairs. Out of sight, out of mind.

Exercise your own selfdiscipline, and you can reduce distracted parenting.

Lydia Teh is a mother of four and author of nine books, including the latest, Cow Sense for Young People. Send comments to lifestyle.lydia@thesundaily.com.