How to ruin your child

> Sometimes, parents unconsciously spoilt their children by giving in to their demands despite their good intentions

NOW why would anyone in their right mind want to ruin their child? That’s right, no parent would do it. At least, not deliberately.

If you have read or seen the movie based on Roald Dahl’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, you would know how four children’s lives were ruined by their parents.

In case you haven’t, the story is about how eccentric chocolatier Willy Wonka chooses a successor for his business by arranging for five children to visit his chocolate factory.

It’s no secret that protagonist Charlie would be the chosen one. He had a good upbringing, unlike his fellow competitors who were booted off ignominiously.

How did their parents ruin them?

By allowing them complete freedom in their food intake.

Augutus Gloop is obese, greedy, gluttonous, and he overdoses on chocolate. He cannot stop eating at all. And he doesn’t listen to his parents when they tell him: “Don’t drink from the chocolate river.” He ignores them, and falls into the river.

By letting them get away with horrible manners and obsessive behaviour.

Violet Beuregarde is obsessed with chewing gum. She doesn’t respect her elders, and she yells at her mum. She wants everything her way. When Willy Wonka warns her not to take the chewing-gum meal, she defies him and gets turned into a giant blueberry.

By caving in to their every demand and spoiling them rotten.

Veruca Salt wants everything that she doesn’t have. She will lie on the floor for hours, kicking and yelling until she gets what she wants. She demands for a squirrel, which Willy Wonka wouldn’t give her, so she grabs one for herself. Consequently she is judged to be a ‘bad nut’ and gets thrown out the garbage

chute.

By giving them unlimited access to television. Mike Teavee watches TV all the time. After he is shrunken and trapped in one, his parents complain that he won’t be able to go to school. Mike happily says he can now watch TV all the time. His dad gets so mad that he swears to throw out the TV set when they get home.

So that was how four children got kicked out of the Chocolate Factory because their parents ruined them.

Are we walking the same path as them?

Do we allow our children to eat whatever they want, whenever they want? If they want fast food for every meal, we give it to them. If they want an ice-cream cake for dessert, we rush out to buy it for them.

Do we let our children get away with being rude and disrespectful? We don’t discipline them when they diss us. If they do something wrong, we don’t correct them.

We pander to our children’s every whim and fancy. They want an expensive gaming laptop, we give in to them. They want to transfer to another school because they don’t like their teacher, we expedite it immediately.

We have no control over our children’s screen time. Whether it’s TV or iPad, PC or smartphone, they can watch and play anytime any place. There is no room for any other activity.

We all have good intentions for our children. But as the saying goes: “The road to destruction is paved with good intentions.”

Lydia Teh is a mother of four and author of nine books, including the latest, How I Wrote Ten Books. Send comments to lifestyle.lydia@ thesundaily. com.