The Witch, the Whore, and Tony Zarb’s tiny member

Let me start by warning you that this article descends into bad humour and near obscenities at times, and does not do justice to the seriousness of Daphne Caruana Galizia’s assassination.

Iapologize in advance for any offence it may cause (except to Tony Zarb), and warn readers who are still feeling raw after the murder, to leave this piece for another time.

Daphne’s assassination is not my topic; rather it is the emotions that flared afterwards, revealing a rift in society which is not always as apparent as the PL/PN divide. During her lifetime, Caruana Galizia was called all sorts of names, including ‘witch’ and ‘whore,’ names reserved for particularly annoying women who will not be silent. After her assassination, and on the occasion of a women’s protest, Tony Zarb made some comments about Strada Stretta, suggesting that the women protesting were prostitutes (as well as traitors) who needed a man to ‘warm them up’.

In some men’s minds, it seems, every discontented woman can be sorted out with a penis. In these men’s delusional minds, every woman they meet is gasping for their ‘manhood’, and prostitutes need it far more than they need the money. Imagine having such unshakeable confidence in one’s value to others, despite all the evidence to the contrary!

I know that Zarb has since retracted the comments and apologized. I’ll do the same if asked to, but first I want to make some jokes.

“Hey Tony, if you join us on our camp, there would be so much fat to burn, we wouldn’t need anything else to keep warm. Which is lucky, since where would we find your little ding-dong, buried so deep under your belly? When was the last time you saw it, was it this century?”

If the jokes seem rather stale, please remember Zarb’s comments. I feel no obligation to be particularly witty in my response.

Someday, in fact, I’m going to build an arsenal of jokes to throw back at men. For example, as an analogue to ‘ mela qeghda bieh illum?’ we could have ‘ mela ma qamlekx dal-lejl?’

It takes a lot of restraint to desist from hitting back, to remember that there must be some good men somewhere in the world; that not all large men are disappointing down there; and that even men with little ones could, in theory at least, be adequate lovers. That erectile dysfunction is a medical condition, nothing to laugh about, and that men have feelings too. Or so I’ve heard, anyway, I have not conducted any of this research myself.

I imagine it must be just as hard for some men to remember that not all women are whores, and that not all women who disagree with them deserve to be called witches. It is normal, when angry, to look for ways of insulting a person.

We’ve seen lots of anger expressed in many ways these last three weeks, and in fact, anyone who protested Caruana Galizia’s assassination has been dismissed as being emotional. We’ve even seen public dissection of her son’s emotions, and questions about their appropriateness.

To dismiss someone’s demands as ‘emotional’ is another weapon in the power game, often, but not exclusively, wielded by men against women. Every time someone suggests we might be premenstrual, for example, our claims are dismissed because we are emotional.

It is perfectly reasonable, however, for men and women to have emotions, since we are biologically designed to do so. What is not always reasonable is to act on those emotions. Castrating a man for making a joke about women is, perhaps, unreasonable. Protesting en masse and demanding resignations is not at all unreasonable given the circumstances. They are perfectly reasonable ways to express shock, anger, fear and all the other perfectly reasonable emotions that have arisen since the assassination of a prominent personality.

Eventually, and hopefully sooner rather than later, reason has to take centre stage again. What we need now is for politicians and civil society to let go of their emotions and the urge to mock and lash out at each other, and do some serious thinking instead.

I promise I’ll get onto that