The silly season is killing us all

This is roughly the start of the silly season when there is supposedly no news – or any news of worth – except that, in this new world order, total disorder rules.

News that might seem hilarious actually spells out our total destruction and the last few weeks have introduced an avalanche of disasters.

Beyond our shores, the madness of Brexit has now regaled Britain with a new Prime Minister. Calling him a bumbling clown would mean slandering all silly clowns of the world.

Britain needed fresh blood, but putting Boris Johnson into Downing Street will only pull all Brits – and anyone connected to them – truly down.

Throughout his life, Johnson has been a terrific success at disasters. He manages to win and then can never cope with his victory and leaves trails and trails of problems. But who cares about the Brits? In sunny, hot, languid Malta we have our own version of bungling evil-doers. Yes they are evil: not just the top men in power, but all their accomplices, all the ones who smile and concur – and all the ones who stand and cheer.

Malta is going through a tsunami of ecological, environmental and health disasters and if we do not wake up, now all is lost.

From the silly to the incredibly important, all the decisions being taken at the moment seem to be out to destroy our well-being.

Trees have all of a sudden become our enemy. People who defend such decisions – to uproot trees by the hundreds and plonk more tarmac, more roads for our convenience – are just delusional.

I rather prefer these destroying agents from hell to just get on with their schemes without trying to sound scientific and defend the indefensible. One man, Victor Axiaq – who is described as a biologist and who is on the Planning Authority Board to defend the environment – said we could not waffle on and a decision had to be taken.

Waffle on Mr Axiaq, you really have done what in Maltese is close enough to your name: Għaxxaqtha! (you truly screwed up!)

If he was a blind follower of Ian Borg, the Transport Minister, or someone who waves a flag in awe at anything Joseph Muscat says, he might be forgiven.

The common perception of an avid political party supporter is of someone who is uneducated, lacks finesse and is cut off from what the land really needs. These uncouth idiots could say things as bad as: “trees spoil our well-being”. As long as they defend Joseph Muscat and his crony crooks, his supporters feel they are justified in saying anything totally stupid.

But Victor Axiaq is, supposedly, part of the cream of our society. He represents the ones to safeguard our children’s future. Without trees we don’t breathe so why not waffle on or resign from humanity?

Axiaq was not alone. There’s also – wait for it – the Environment Minister admonishing people who want to save the Attard trees. José Herrera, Minister for the Environment, declared that it is false nostalgia to fight for the trees. Let progress drive us, he proclaimed.

George Orwell is truly alive in this hour, when our Ministers are perfect spinners of double speak. Mind you, we all forget that we have a mini minister for animal rights who, coincidentally, is also a hunter.

With all this madness gripping this land, our own uncrowned emperor – Joseph Muscat – states, with no tongue in any upper or lower cheek, that our quality of life has improved. You really couldn’t make this up in any comedy of errors and errant loons.

We go ahead in our relentless progress to build more, fell more houses and even be ready to destroy an iconic restaurant in Għar Lapsi – to build a blooming boutique hotel.

Beyond tree-felling, road widening, breathing and hearing problems, we have also turned this little island into a land of pirates, known for its lack of proper governance and for still harbouring the people who ordered the assassination of Daphne Caruana Galizia. But who cares about such idiocy when Jean Claude Juncker embraces our Prime Minister.

Malta is now all a-flutter – we are seen by our neighbours as a truly Mafia state but who cares if we can build boutique hotels, sell passports and widen roads to our hearts’ content?

Damn trees, damn old architecture, damn everything that stands in the way of progress. It’s a pity there aren’t any trees on Filfla – we could easily go there, declare them invasive, uproot them and build a few towers on the isle across the sea from Għar Lapsi.

Damn trees, damn old architecture, damn everything that stands in the way of progress. It’s a pity there aren’t any trees on Filfla we could easily go there, declare them invasive, uproot them and build a few towers on the isle across the sea from G]ar Lapsi