Mercedes S500 Coupé
ENG
Flush for cash? We tell you which big Mercedes coupé to buy.
No sooner had the ink dried on my S65 and S63 AMG Coupé reviews and someone pitched up at my house with this S500 Coupé.
Now; I’m not the sportiest person on the planet but I believe that getting three in a row – especially three of a kind – is called a hat trick or something.
Never mind that I tested all three Mercedes-benz S-class Coupés in reverse order; from most to least powerful.
Never mind indeed because it confirmed something that I had been suspecting for some time. The cheapest, pardon, most affordable model is actually the best to drive and hence it receives my full recommendation.
I’m sure that at this level of investment ( two to three million) nobody walks into the showroom and strokes their chin while eyeing all three models. Good luck finding such a showroom, by the way.
They don’t turn their pockets inside out and look under the sofa cushions to reach for a more powerful model.
No, buyers in this segment can afford all three cars (and then some) so they’ll have unique reasons for choosing a certain version. Allow me to identify these.
You will order the S65 AMG Coupé because it’s the most powerful and expensive one. Perhaps you even enjoy the V12's tug-boaty soundtrack and unholy power outputs (463kw/1,000nm).
There’s no shame in buying the less powerful S63 AMG because I found its power deficit (of 33kw or 100Nm) a bit easier to launch and the thundering V8 feels just as fast in traffic.
This S500 model has even less grunt but in the greater scheme of motorised things, its 335kw (or 456hp) and 700Nm are still sufficient to pitch it jolly close to supercar territory. And after driving the mental S65 or bonkers S63, I can tell you with a high degree of certainty that an S500 Coupé feels the most controllable and civilized.
It isn’t even that far removed in terms of specifications, as it shares many a wondrous gadget with the other two. AMG look? No problem, just order the body kit.
This pearl-white "Edition 1" press car had exactly that, contrasted beautifully by a bright red and black leather interior.
Don’t worry; there are plenty of colour and trim options you may pick for all three Ess Coupés.
They also feature self-guided and dual-vented everything with few space-age optional extras left to tick.
Should you be a fan of racing and track driving, don’t buy any of these giants and go straight for a Mercedes-amg GT or GT S. For occasional drag racing, some tree stump removal and Autobahn shenanigans, the two AMG’S will be your best bet.
Normal people, who just want to cruise in opulence with more power reserves than you can shake a tree stump at, buy this S500.
Hand on heart, at no point during my weekly routine did I drop my shoulders and think “come on…”
There are some noticeable but brief thinking pauses in the slowest drive / gearbox modes when going from slow coasting to half or full throttle but all this can be fixed by selecting a sharper mode or taking manual control of the gears.
I took a lot of manual control of the gears.
A 500 coupé likes to burble around town at 900rpm (no jokes!) and because I’m a bit obsessed with engine noises, I quickly discovered that this turbocharged vee eight has thee most chilling induction howl in its mid-range; from about 2,500 rpm onwards.
Not like a small-block burble, more akin to the coyote howl of a Maserati or Rover V8.
You don’t even need to floor the far right pedal to achieve these wailing sounds, nor are they intrusive or annoying.
In fact, leave the car in auto mode and it doesn’t emit as much as a faint rumble while changing up at no more than 1,600rpm. And the slightest prod of throttle calls upon huge amounts of torque; at any speed.
Pair all that to the intelligent suspension and the multiple driver aids to create a rather amazing cruise ship.
Depending on model and options, it can lean into corners like a motorbike, flatten out speed bumps or potholes, follow traffic all on its own, steer itself and brew a delicious cup of espresso. OK, that last one’s a lie.
Still, this 500 looks identical to the other S- Coupés and I noticed that it got the same amount of attention as its Amgsisters.
All four side windows can be dropped simultaneously for that pillar-less look, the big active massage seats are also identical to the AMG’S, as is their instrument and infotainment system with twin monitors, plus this car’s higher-profile tyres gave it slightly better ride comfort.
If it sounds like I’m slating the AMG’S, I apologise. They are phenomenally exciting and uniquely scary in their own ways.
Still. If I somehow had ninety eleven million bucks, I would happily order a new S500 (N$2,089,000) and use the N$639,000 or N$1,262,000 saving over an S65 or S63 AMG to turn unleaded into spine-tingling V8 howls.
All. Day. Long.