In the picture
Family photos not only preserve great memories, they also give us a sense of belonging and identity, says
It became a bit of a family joke that every time we took a photo of my mother in her last few years, especially when she was well into her 80s, we would laugh and say, “It will be a lovely one for the funeral, Mum.” Well, funnily enough, we did have some lovely photos to choose from when it was her time. The order of service sheet for her funeral, along with a wonderful memory board and slideshow, were made very special with photos that are now family treasures.
These collections and family albums will definitely be the things I grab in a rush if I ever have to evacuate the house in a fire. (I’m married to a volunteer fireman so we do have a plan in situ.) I’ve also stored everything precious like this electronically on “the cloud”, just in case.
My grandsons love nothing better than looking at pictures of when their mother, my daughter Kate, and her brother, Uncle Guy, were children. I guess it’s all part of your family story. Photos help with the discovery of who you are and where you fit in. They give you a sense of identity.
My parents took photos of every special ceremony and occasion in my youth. We have christening shots, Sunday school prizegivings (wasn’t mentioned there myself, but my siblings were stars), school concerts and sports awards, first school dances, family reunions and every Christmas dinner. There are the first days of new schools, wearing our shiny clean new uniforms, and then the graduation pictures, 21sts and weddings. Time has a way of diluting or erasing details, so these photos document special moments and create strong memories. I’ve always valued that.
My parents took photos of everyone in the family and in group shots it was always important to get us all into the picture – an extra was called upon to press the shutter. These are the ties that bind and it made me feel I was valued and an important part of the family unit. They showed me I was loved.
Cavemen painted on rock walls to document their lives, so it’s as old as time itself to want to reproduce moments that reflect our world. I think it’s very important to be a “Yes, let’s do it” person when someone suggests a photo to mark the occasion. I know there’s that tendency to overkill the moment, where the photo-taking interferes with the actual experience – we’ve all witnessed tourists with selfie sticks getting photos of themselves in front of monuments and cathedrals while probably missing the point of why they’re there in the first place. However, a quick phone snap only takes a moment and one day all that your children and grandchildren will have of you is photos, so for heaven’s sake make sure you are in them.
Being the designated family photographer, I have noticed the lack of casual pictures of moi, so I am leaping in headfirst to all of them now. After all, I’m the granny in the family and that’s surely worth preserving for generations to come. (“Debatable,” say my husband and children!)
I’ve had my picture taken lots of times for book covers and magazines and learnt a few tips from the best photographers around, so I’m happy to share what I’ve picked up along the way. To look your best when someone gets shutter happy, try the following:
Put your chin forward, then slightly down, to avoid the multiple chin look. Some photographers suggest putting your tongue on the roof of your mouth for this issue. Rather than facing the camera straight on, turn your shoulders and head away by about 45 degrees, but turn your eyes directly to the camera, and smile from your eyes. If you’re standing for a photo, turn sideways to the camera and bend your knee forward a little, like a model on the red carpet. And your mum was right: shoulders back and a big smile.
It made me feel I was valued and showed me I was loved.