JO SEAGAR:

Balmy February is the perfect time to ban busyness… to kick back, forget your New Year’s resolutions and do whatever it is that makes you smile.

why February is her happiest month

If you’re one of the many thousands of people who make New Year’s resolutions – to lose 20kg, start Pilates or regular workouts at the gym, to eat only plant-based meals, or curb your chardonnay-fuelled late night online shopping habits – the chances are high that you will have broken these resolutions by the first week in February, if not on day two of the New Year. I know it’s all about good intentions, but give yourself a break… you’re okay just as you are.

A New Year won’t mean a new you. You’re not some sort of smartphone that needs its apps updated constantly, or worse that’s replaced by a new model every year. Be kind to yourself. It’s pretty simple really – just do fewer things, but do them in a more mindful, better way.

Give yourself permission to chill, baby! Take a holiday, even just a mental one from being busy all the time. You’ll never tick everything off on your “to do” list, so that at last you can relax. It doesn’t work that way. We can’t resist the idea of busyness, because in some deep way it makes us feel important.

It’s all about balance. Remember that nearly everything, people included, will work properly again if they’re turned off at the wall and unplugged for a bit.

I love February; it’s my absolute fave month. Christmas is in the past, the school holidays are behind us (and that means full-on grandparents breathing a teeny sigh of relief).

The weather has finally settled, after winter kept coming back for another encore, like some opera diva who couldn’t bear to leave the stage.

Here it is, summer at last. And it’s time to realise self-improvement resolutions are a waste of energy. The old regular version of you is great on so many levels. We all have wonderful surges forward, but you need to balance times of productivity with times of doing nothing much at all.

Some people use a winter break to recharge, but February is my time.

I love nothing better than pottering around hosing the garden. Forget the weeding and digging aspects of horticulture – I’m a hoser. And no, I don’t want some state of the art irrigation system installed any time soon. I just like watering stuff.

The garden might be blowzy and overblown by February, but I still have my courgettes and sweet peas to water.

I love reading while lying on a sun lounger or sofa propped up with numerous pillows and a coffee at hand. I’ve returned to drinking my coffee black. I’m not sure when I got so precious about chai trim lattes or flat whites only in tulip cups, but this February it’s all about plain old black coffee in a mug.

I’m mindfully doing nothing. Wasting time is vital. It’s when you open your mind to new ideas, and I can feel a few coming on. I won’t be doing my usual listmaking because that’s not what relaxing is all about, but if I don’t write my great brainstorming ideas down in my ever-ready notebook, I tend to forget them completely.

I’m also enjoying my new philosophy: “You can’t please everybody, you just have to please yourself.” We’re hardwired to try to make sure everyone’s happy all the time. But when you try to keep all the plates in the air and please everybody, you end up exhausted and overwhelmed. I know no one achieves anything without hard work, but equally doing too much for too long, without enough downtime and rest, is a bad thing.

February is my time to find the balance. Blue sky days, salads, and stone fruit or watermelon for dessert, sand between your toes, swimming, lots of reading, a whole Netflix series in one marathon binge-watch session. I put a total ban on feelings of selfishness or guilt. Relax and enjoy, be kind, think happy thoughts and try to live with as few regrets as you can… these are my mantras.

Life is short and so is the month of February – make the most of it.

“We can’t resist the idea of busyness because in some deep way it makes us feel important. ”