“Adversity can be your friend”
After a tough six months Sarah, Duchess of York talks to Juliet Rieden about courage, loneliness, her compassionate daughters and the childhood dreaming that inspired her magical new children’s books.
Sarah, Duchess of York confesses that as a child growing up in rural England she was “a dreamer” with “an incredibly active imagination”. When the going got tough – which it did when her mother, Susan, left the marital home for Argentina to live with her polo player lover, Héctor Barrantes – Sarah, age 12, would escape into the surrounding countryside and conjure fantastical worlds in her head.
“From a young age I figured out that the only way I was going to survive was to retreat into other places and stories,” she explains. “I loved nature – especially oak trees and flowers and ponies. I’m so lucky that I was able to go into a world of make-believe. The extraordinary sense of loss and loneliness that I felt when my mother left, which I can never really describe properly to anyone, was so petrifying that I made up my own world to compensate, and that’s how I got through it.”
Looking back, it was a pretty shocking day in the Ferguson household, and one that still haunts Sarah. Her mum literally turned her back on her family and walked out of the front door, leaving her two girls to cope with the fallout and soothe their devastated father, Major Ronald Ferguson. But while pivotal and painful, the one positive to come out of those dark times was the private world of creativity that was sparked in young Sarah.
“My father told me I was always reading and loved making up stories,” she recalls. And it is with this self-made and rather charming universe in mind that as an adult Sarah turned to writing children’s books, with notable success. “Because I have such a sense of childlike joy, it comes easily to me to write and be descriptive. I only wish I could illustrate,” she quips.
Today, the Duchess has some 25 or more children’s books to her name including the Little Red and Budgie the Little Helicopter series which were both bestsellers, and now she has signed a seven-book deal with Australian publisher
Serenity Press comprising five picture books and two young chapter books. And more than ever before I feel this new portfolio of work is a direct reflection of those early memories.
“I remember making little imaginary teacups from rhododendron leaves. The books allow me to express the imagination that I have had since I was a little girl when I used to play for hours outside, appreciating birds, animals, flowers and trees,” she says. “I feel very fortunate to be able to share the magic of my childhood and my journey to 60 years, as I am now. I also have learned so much from the children I have met over the years. They have taught me courage, forgiveness, love, gentleness and kindness, and I try to share all of this through my children’s books.”
After her mother’s departure and four years later when her sister, Jane, also left for love to move to Australia and get married, Sarah became very close to her father. “I was brought up on a farm in Hampshire with oak trees surrounding me. I have a fascination with the oak tree, which seems so reliable, and I always feel safe near them,” she says. The Enchanted Oak Tree is one of Sarah’s new tales. The tree is the beating heart of a secret garden, where
“frolicking fairies” go about urgent missions. On its front cover is an illustration of the wise oak, a face staring from its trunk. “The eyebrows on my oak tree are a tribute to my late father’s very bushy eyebrows. I wanted to honour the fabulous childhood he gave me playing amongst the oak trees at Dummer,” she says.
Dummer is the picturesque family farm in England’s green and pleasant south, and while her childhood was undoubtedly interrupted by her parents’ separation, she did experience halcyon moments with animals to play with and fields to run in. It’s no surprise then that there’s an oldfashioned wonder to Sarah’s stories, which she writes in longhand using a Montegrappa fountain pen that she proudly declares, “I designed myself.”
“They’re calling this generation the ‘phigitals’ because they draw no distinction between the physical and the digital world. I’m no Luddite and I realise that children are going to spend much of their time online as adults in the workplace, but I hope that my books encourage children to appreciate the beauty and physicality of a real publication,” she says.
When Sarah and I last spoke, at the end of 2016, she was already in the process of creating the character of Genie, who is the girl-power star in her new Genie Gems series, with her daughter Princess Eugenie as the inspiration for the character.
“Genie is always coming to the rescue, she’s superbly kind and she’s very organised, which is very like my daughter,” says Sarah. “I called it Genie Gems as she leaves magical colourful stones as messages of hope, love and harmony. My daughter Eugenie is strong and determined, always looking for the truth in all she does. Her work for the Anti-Slavery Collective is a commitment she steadfastly campaigns for, to give everyone the chance to have a voice, just like Genie… My next book will be called Trixie-belle – for Beatrice.”
Loneliness, difference and lack of confidence are all tackled in the stories. They are issues that have played out in the Duchess’s own life, and that she’s determined to use to help others through difficult times. “Everyone will face challenges in their lifetime and what I have learnt is adversity can be your friend,” she says.
Sarah’s mistakes while she was married to Prince Andrew are well documented, but she has faced them all with a mea culpa humility. In many ways they have proved to be life lessons on a path of discovery she’s still treading. “Once you gather the courage to make a first tentative step toward your goal, the next ones come easier. If you have a knock, pick yourself up and dust yourself down. Learn to survive your critics, and have belief, trust and conviction,” she says.
In the past six months the York family has faced intense scrutiny when Prince Andrew chose to step away from his royal work in the wake of revelations about his friendship with convicted paedophile, US financier Jeffrey Epstein, who committed suicide in prison in August awaiting trial. The Duke of York’s heavily criticised UK TV interview in which the Queen’s second son attempted to defend himself against his accusers, has crucified the royal’s reputation, but through it all Sarah firmly supported her ex-husband, with whom she has remained best friends.
Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie have also stood by their father as the family has pulled together as they always do in tough times. While their royal lineage has afforded the York sisters incredible privilege, managing their place in the spotlight has not been easy, especially since both have full-time jobs. I wonder what advice Sarah has offered?
“I’ve always encouraged my children to look at life differently, to see the positive side of a problem and understand there is always a way ahead,” she explains. “They are in a privileged position but the flip side is the media will always be part of their life and that can involve negativity. I’ve told them: ‘Use your position wisely.’ We’re a close family unit – we talk and listen. If you’re out in public, I tell my girls to always smile and always be grateful and kind, never forgetting how fortunate they are. Also remember that 50 per cent of a room are going to like you, but 50 per cent may not.”
Sarah is very close to her daughters and says she “couldn’t ask for two
better children.” When Eugenie was married in a starry wedding at Windsor in October 2018, it was “one of my happiest moments,” she says. “I’ve never been more proud than I was watching my daughter showing her scoliosis scar to the world and walking tall down that aisle. I really felt as if I was gaining a son in Jack [Brooksbank] and I feel the same about Edo [Princess Beatrice’s fiancé].”
While there’s speculation that Princess Beatrice’s wedding to property developer Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi at St James’s Chapel Royal may be postponed due to coronavirus, they’d already settled on a smaller celebration. Prince Andrew planned to walk his daughter down the aisle and senior royals including Her Majesty were looking forward to attending. “The whole family is immensely excited about Beatrice and Edo’s wedding… It’s going to be a smaller scale and more private affair than Eugenie and Jack’s, because that’s what they want,” says Sarah.
For Beatrice, whose 10-year relationship with Dave Clark foundered in 2016, it will be the start of a new adventure. “Beatrice is the happiest I have ever seen her and she and Edo have a great love for each other and passion for life,” says Sarah.
“You move into a new phase of your life when your children start getting married. But so far, it’s a good one. Rather than feeling as if I have lost anything, I feel like our family has grown for having Jack and Edo in it.”
There’s a vulnerability to Sarah, Duchess of York that I sense underpins her approach to life. While she is steely when she needs to be, the brutality of today’s social media world
wounds her personally and worries her when she looks at her daughters and any children they may have. “I consider that social media has become a sewer, where people say things they wouldn’t have dreamed of saying to each other face-to-face when I was growing up. I feel very strongly about the importance of good manners and respect and about the impact of social media in the modern world. Women are pitted against other women, trolling online is vicious and hurtful. We have to stand against it,” she says.
“Let’s all try to treat each other a little more gently and be kinder. Let’s all try to think before we post. Before starting an argument online, take a deep breath and try to respect someone else’s position. Where we see others behaving unacceptably, let’s call it out. It’s an old motto, but a good one: if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.
“I want my grandchildren to grow up in a world where people are respectful of other people’s views, even if they don’t agree with them. I always cite the three Cs – communicate, compassion and compromise. I want children to experience joy and to feel okay about whatever they are doing rather than being attacked all the time online.”
As she contemplates grandchildren I ask Sarah about her daughters’ relationships with their grandparents. “The girls remember Grandpa being a beautiful horseman who used to let them brush his eyebrows with their Barbie brushes,” she says smiling. “Mum was a joyful, Irish spirit who also loved her horses. Her Majesty the Queen has also made clear her love of the natural world and is still riding at 93, while the Duke of Edinburgh loves driving his horses. All of their grandparents have led my girls by example into the embrace of nature.”
Sarah will undoubtedly be a doting granny. “If I am lucky enough to be blessed with grandchildren, it will be the most wonderful sense of joy for me and of course I will be making up stories every day for them,” she sighs.
While at heart Sarah is still that child filling her head with make-believe, she has also gathered wisdom. “Sixty years of learning has definitely given me more empathy and compassion,” she says. “I founded Children in Crisis 25 years ago to help those vulnerable and forgotten children in some of the world’s most dangerous places. I’m immensely proud that through its work we have educated 1.4 million children. I’m fighting for a world where it is just unacceptable for a child not to be in education.
“As I look back at my life, my overwhelming sense, despite all the ups and downs, is of how fortunate I have been and how excited I am for the next chapter. I am thankful for the love and support of my family, which has given me so much happiness and strength. I have more energy now than I did at 40.”
The Enchanted Oak Tree and Genie Gems by Sarah, Duchess of York, Serenity Press, are on sale from April at serenitypress.org/bookshop.
“I have more energy now – at 60 – than I did at 40.”