After darkness, there’s a chance for a rainbow of light
“Know who you are, be who you are.” “Where your authentic self can thrive.” It’s the shortest day of the year and I’m sitting in my office, basking in the bright morning sunlight, turning these phrases over in my mind.
This day has always been one of my favourite days of the year. It’s a time of change.
For months now, winter has been creeping closer, dragging with it a blanket of darkness as the leaves fall from the trees, grass turns to mud and the scent of log fires wafts into the evenings.
Today, that will begin to change. The cold will continue to press harder upon us, but the sun will be clawing back our long nights and lightening our dark mornings.
I’ve long suspected I am vulnerable to a touch of Seasonal Affective Disorder — a form of depression related to the change in seasons, also known as the winter blues.
Sunshine becomes something I actively crave and some days you will find me curled up in a ball in a small patch of sunlight on the carpet, like a cat, trying to soak as much in as I can before it disappears again.
Maybe it’s a way of self-medicating — literally fighting the darkness with light.
If only all mental health disorders were so easily treated. One dose of sunlight, administered daily, and all your dark clouds will disappear.
But for most of us, that’s not our reality.
Like me with sunlight, but with far more potential for negative outcomes, some people also choose to selfmedicate, seeking help (or perhaps oblivion) in a bottle or a bong.
Others will turn to relationships, either depending entirely on a spouse to provide all love and affection, or having a series of short encounters.
And some will choose to get external help — whether from a doctor, a mental health professional, a support group, or a combination of these. The healthiest option by far, in my opinion.
There are myriad reasons why a person can experience mental health disorders, including life experiences, a chemical imbalance in the brain and/or genetics.
And there are common triggers for people who suffer from depression: Unfavourable experiences during childhood, a difficult situation building up distress, and/or major life changes.
One group of people at higher risk of being impacted by poor mental health are LGBTQ+ folks. When you look at those common triggers for depression, is it any wonder why that’s the case?
About one in 20 New Zealanders are LGBTQ+, according to Stats NZ. That’s a significant proportion, yet LGBTQ+ people are still fighting for acceptance in our country.
When LGBTQ+ people are “othered”, it makes it harder for them to accept themselves and to be themselves in public.
That’s why coming out is such a big deal — so, so many LGBTQ+ people are scared of whether their families and friends will accept them, and many have good reason to feel that way.
Stories abound on the internet of teens made homeless because their parents kicked them out, being severely beaten, or even woken up in the dead of night and taken to conversion camps.
One particularly harrowing story I read was of parents who paid a man to sexually assault their lesbian daughter to “cure” her.
These stories are at the extreme end of the types of responses that LGBTQ+ people may encounter when they come out.
But they’re a possibility that looms regardless of how welcoming and accepting their community is.
And that is why so many LGBTQ+ people and their peers have started support organisations and counselling services here in the Bay, nationally and worldwide.
They’re so important and so needed — a place of acceptance and safety that so many of our LGBTQ+ folks crave, the sunshine in an often hard life.
They provide a healthy way of treating mental health issues that come with the valid fear of being ostracised or abused.
Two such organisations, Rainbow Youth and Gender Dynamix, were the victims of a “suspicious” fire at their Historic Village building last week.
Even if investigators declare that the fire was caused through non-human means, it is still going to make some LGBTQ+ people feel more afraid to be themselves.
Those two organisations are loved and needed. Their importance, the hard work they do and the sunshine they bring into people’s lives, will long outlast any hate thrown their way.
That’s one thing that hate does well — it brings out the love in others.
“Know who you are, be who you are.”
“Where your authentic self can thrive.” Sonya Bateson is a writer, reader, and crafter raising her family in Tauranga. She is a Millennial who enjoys eating avocado on toast, drinking lattes and defying stereotypes. As a sceptic, she reserves the right to change her mind when presented with new evidence.