CHB Mail

Let's tweak our Christmas lyrics with a 2020 angle

Don’t miss Adam Green and Megan Banks on The Hits Hawke’s Bay from 6am to 9am, Monday to Friday.

- — AdamGreen

’Tis the season to be jolly. Or so they say in the traditiona­l carols that will soon fill the speakers of the stores as werush around at the last minute, trying to organise a scented candle forMum.

I saywejustm­akea few2020 tweaks to the lyrics. Like “Tis the season to be tired falalalala la la la la, Kids over school and they are crying falalalala la la la la la, Christmas bills they are a coming falalalala la la la la, Fromthe bank Iwill be running falalalala­aaa la la la la.”’

Or thenewChri­stmas classic, Jingle Bells, Covid Smells. “Jingle Bells,

Covid Smells, Lockdownwa­s a shock, nowwehave to wear amaskwhen on the planewehop.”

Sure, perhaps not quite as cheery as the usual Christmas fare, but it always felt weird to be singing about snowand the coldwhenit’s 35 degrees and blue skies!

Wedo, of course, need to keepup the measures we’ve been taking to maintain all the freedoms thatwe have all enjoyed on our lovely little islands, which iswhyI suggest I’m Dreaming of aClean Christmas.

“I’m dreaming, of a clean Christmas, so washyour hands before you go. With the sanitiser ready, and Covid tracer steady, and not ahint of Christmas snow.”

Nowwe’ve all heard bynowthat Dr Ashley Bloomfield has turned downthe chance to be NZ’s favourite TVcelebrit­y, so I figure the bestway to acknowledg­e all his hard work is a rewording of the favourite song about Santa, Santa Baby, into Ashley Baby.

“Ashley Baby, youworked so hard tomakeus Covid-free this year, so comeand pop yourself under our tree, Ashley Baby, hurrydownt­he chimney tonight.”

Okay, somaybehe could use the front door, perhaps a slightly undignifie­dwayfor the directorge­neral of health to be entering the Christmas lunch, as spectacula­r as that might be.

Andlastly, weslightly change “It’s the most wonderful time of the year” to “Thank goodness, wemadeit through this year.”

Nooneknows exactlywha­t 2021 has in store, but surely ifwe can managethis one, we canmanaget­he next. I’ll tell you one thing for sure though, even the upgraded Chrissy songs shouldn’t showupunti­l December! Happyshopp­ing!

 ??  ??

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from New Zealand