Get more of what you want

Fashion Quarterly - - Contents -

Want­ing to live a big­ger, bet­ter life is noth­ing to feel guilty about, says life coach Emily Gal­lagher. Al­though she con­fesses she was “a huge partier” from ages 18 to 24, she al­ways dreamed of be­com­ing the CEO of a multi­na­tional or­gan­i­sa­tion. Not one to shy away from set­ting chal­leng­ing goals, the now 31-year-old Kiwi stud­ied life coach­ing, trained with iconic lead­ers in the field (in­clud­ing Tony Rob­bins and Gabrielle Bern­stein) and went on to cre­ate Con­scious Boss Clique, a grow­ing net­work of 2000 well­ness en­trepreneurs who come to­gether to learn and con­nect as a com­mu­nity.

A form of talk­ing ther­apy that has grown ex­po­nen­tially thanks to the likes of Tony, Gabrielle and even Oprah Win­frey (have you lis­tened to her Su­perSoul Con­ver­sa­tions pod­cast?), life coach­ing helps peo­ple to meet and ex­ceed their per­sonal and pro­fes­sional goals through pri­vate ses­sions, group coach­ing and events. Be­ing the CEO of a huge in­ter­na­tional com­pany turned out not to be Emily’s ex­act des­tiny, but start­ing a busi­ness and trav­el­ling the world sharing her pas­sion and skills isn’t too far re­moved. Through life coach­ing, she helps peo­ple to “re­con­nect with the flame in­side”, so we picked her brain for tips on how to ditch that feel­ing of be­ing ‘not enough’, and in­stead har­ness hap­pi­ness, con­fi­dence and en­ergy so you can kick your own goals with chutz­pah.

The first steps to liv­ing fully and cre­at­ing more of what you want


Iden­tify the domino. Find the ar­eas of your life that will have the big­gest im­pact on your over­all hap­pi­ness should you seek to cre­ate change. For me right now, it’s health — the health­ier I am, the more en­ergy I have, the more my con­fi­dence builds, and the more I can cre­ate. Iden­tify a key area for you, and plan how you’ll en­hance it. Con­sider your sup­port net­works and how you’ll stay ac­count­able, but re­mem­ber that ex­pect­ing ev­ery area of your life to un­dergo mon­u­men­tal shifts at the same time could be set­ting you up to fail. Like Oprah said: “You can have ev­ery­thing, just not all at once.”


Come from love. You’re with your­self 24/7, so start by know­ing that you’re enough, right now, as you are. Ask your­self why you re­ally want the things you want, see what comes to the sur­face and prac­tise lean­ing into it daily. You can’t guilt and shame your way into change, so ap­proach it from a place of love, ac­cep­tance and pres­ence. The re­sults that come from here are the only re­sults you want.


Shake up your en­vi­ron­ment. This is ul­ti­mately go­ing to shift ev­ery­thing in your life. If you’re sur­rounded by peo­ple whose life­style and goals don’t align with your own, then your ex­pec­ta­tions of your­self will de­crease. On the flip­side, the more healthy, happy and all-round epic the peo­ple you spend time with are, the more of those qual­i­ties you’ll take on your­self. It has been proven that your re­la­tion­ships have more of an im­pact on your health than your genes — yes, re­ally! — so don’t take this lightly. Shake up your so­cial set­ting and sur­round your­self with peo­ple liv­ing the life you want for your­self.

4 Take ac­tion. This part is pretty cru­cial but is a step I often see be­ing skipped. Iden­tify some core peo­ple to sup­port you, make a plan about what you want to cre­ate, then get on with it. In my mind, im­per­fect ac­tions are al­ways bet­ter than per­fect ideas. Get in the game, then pivot and shift as needed along the way.

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