Knowing how to heal
C oping with grief or loss is never easy. As someone wisely said to me once. “Grief is grief. You are allowed to grieve. It’s okay to cry. It’s an important part of the process”. And then, after a time, you can pick yourself up because there are still wonderful things to live for.
The first time I experienced deep grief was when my father was killed in a car crash. I was 25. He was a huge part of my world, and his death turned it upside down. I cried so much that my face ached and all the stress went into my lower back to the point that I could barely walk.
It was 12 months before I began to feel relatively normal. I remember the turning point: I went to see a healer and as she laid her hands on me it was as though she could see right through me. I spent the entire session lying there with tears streaming down my cheeks. Afterwards she went into her garden and picked a beautiful pink rose. Its fragrance was just divine and I felt my spirit lift. She gently told me that it was time to pick myself up and if I just looked, there was still beauty in the world. It was all around me. She also pointed out that my grief had started to become selfish because it was impacting on others, like my beautiful mum who had lost the love of her life and was now having to deal with me. It was what I needed to hear at that time.
I left holding the rose, I put it in a vase and realised I was ready to be healed. I’d been holding onto my grief for dear life, afraid that by letting go I’d also let go of memories I held so dear.
Grief coach and author Stephanie Harris explains it perfectly in her soon-to-be released book, Death Expands Us. “Life will always go on after a death, but the loss of someone we dearly love changes us, profoundly and permanently. Only by taking responsibility for our own lives and embracing this transformation can we hope to find peace and freedom. When we grieve, our pain holds us captive. This essential work can open our eyes to possibilities that will set us free.”
Last year I lost my Mum to cancer and my heart broke all over again, only this time I had tools for the journey, including the knowledge that she didn’t want me to be unhappy. She inspired me to not only do a story on healing but also grief (pages 25-28) because it is something that touches all of us yet we don’t talk about it very much.
There are also some wonderfully inspiring stories about healing (page 30-36), and beautiful touch points throughout. For example, each flower in the floral crown on the cover created by Chikako Shiraki of White Tree Floral Design is an edible, medicinal herb.
The Good team are really proud to share this beautiful issue with you. Happy healing and reading!