Don’t be sucked in by latest faddish diet
The spring influx of diets has not stopped. “Lose your belly by November 4!” is the most recent enticing subject line to hit my inbox. Last week it was “Start your spring clean from the inside out” — a juice cleanse; $99 a day to eat nothing. Isagenix — a meal replacement scheme — seems to be having a moment, too.
I’ve observed the weird world of weight loss long enough now to recognise most faddish diets have a series of things in common.
This has been true since the diet industry began. With each new diet, we see these features reappearing.
A science-ish sounding theory. It always sounds plausible and has scientific-sounding language and quotes research. It is often also touted as “revolutionary” or “radical”.
A drastic first “phase” in which the diet is extremely limited and strict. I’ve seen this called an induction or attack phase. It is usually one or two weeks. It seems designed to give you a quick initial weight loss, so you feel validated and stick to the plan.
Lists of banned foods. You must not eat these! Sometimes they are obvious: sweets, cakes, sugary drinks. But some seem arbitrary. I’ve seen diets banning cold water, peanut butter, tomatoes and chicken. And some diets ban whole food groups such as dairy, grains or carbohydrates.
“Magic” foods. Sometimes you must take foods or supplements . This is a red flag, especially if it is a supplement you buy from the diet promoter. Or it might be a normal food. The Dukan Diet has oat bran. The Morning Banana Diet has, obviously, bananas. On the Grapefruit Diet you eat grapefruit before every meal with the theory it contains enzymes tha help burn off fat. Science-ish, huh? Then there’s the bizarre HCG Diet, which has you taking pregnancy hormones and vitamin drops and following a very low-calorie eating plan — all yours from $129.
Promises of huge weight loss, but not only that. You will also get glowing skin, shiny hair, bright eyes and a better sex life.
And the promise it’s EASY. “Lose weight eating the foods you love!” is a common catch cry. “Never feel hungry!” is another. This is a lie.
What all diets also have in common, which we all know, is they rarely work long-term. Yes, you can lose weight eating any weird combination of foods.
But eventually you’ll have to come “off” the diet. And unless you’re able to make a permanent change to your eating, the weight comes back. Don’t be sucked in. The only winners here are the diet promoters, laughing all the way to the bank.
face as he gazes up at the tiny sparkles and the glistening threads that hang beneath them, fringing the cave wall.
It’s not just about the glow worms in Ruakuri though. There are stalactites and stalagmites of course, but we also have rocks that resemble cauliflower pointed out to us and are advised to look out for them should we ever find ourselves lost in a cave. This formation occurs if there’s fresh air in the vicinity to dry out the limestone.
“If you find cave coral, you’re near an exit,” says Beth. “Whether you can fit through the exit or not is a different story, but you’re close to an exit.” Luckily, the way out of Ruakuri is straightforward and we gradually make our way back to the surface, blinking a little to readjust to the natural light outside. After a bite to eat, we join a tour through Waitomo Cave itself. This experience is more condensed and the numbers passing through are much greater (as many as 3500 people a day visit in the summer peak season). We descend to the cavern known as the cathedral, in recognition of its acoustic properties. There’s no path for strollers in this cave, so Luke has been transferred to the front pack. Many people have sung in the cathedral over the years and our guide is looking for a volunteer to join their ranks. No one seems keen except Luke, who begins squawking. In an effort to keep him quiet I find myself offering a rendition of Pokarekare Ana to the bunch of strangers gathered in the dimly-lit cave. A few even join in, for which I’m grateful. Unsurprisingly, the grand finale of this tour belongs to the glow worms. A hush descends as we clamber aboard the boats which will float us back out of the cave. As we push away from the platform we’re instructed to look up and our eyes take in the improbably wonderful constellations of blue light adorning the roof. Back above ground that evening, I watch my own two impish Pucks tearing around the lawn of Waitomo’s TOP 10 Holiday Park. It’s still overcast but the cold, wet weather that’s been battering the country for weeks seems finally to be loosening its grip. The late first buds of the season are bursting all over the place, though the wind has seen to it there’s a carpet of pink petals scattered around the base of the cherry blossom tree . . . or perhaps they’re rubies, placed as favours for a hidden fairy queen. Anything seems possible in this spellbinding neck of the woods.