‘My daughters give me hope’
It breaks my heart that people are out there, struggling, and I know what it’s like.
The Black Cap star who spectacularly fell from grace after admitting match-fixing has revealed his tough battle to retain his health after a suicide attempt.
In a frank interview with Tony Veitch, to be aired on newstalkzb today, Lou Vincent revealed that confessing to match-fixing drove him to attempt suicide.
The former Black Cap has lifted the lid on the desperate mental health problems he plunged into as a result of admitting he cheated, saying he knows now he is “blessed to be alive”.
And he is speaking out to help others facing similar mental health issues, saying he has learned to love himself “for the first time in years”.
Racked with guilt and selfloathing after owning up to 18 counts of match and spot-fixing in English cricket in 2008 and 2011, Vincent says rather than feeling liberated by his confession, he was gripped by a dark, overwhelming depression. Seeing no other way out, he attempted suicide in 2014.
“It’s just an out of body experience and it’s incredibly sad that a human being’s mind can allow someone to make that decision to take their life,” he said in an interview to air on Veitch on Sport today.
Vincent admitted to match-fixing in July 2014 and was banned from any involvement in cricket by the England and Wales Cricket Board. But he started to believe that punishment wasn’t enough and he should have to pay the ultimate price.
Vincent says he has finally turned the corner and his focus is now on looking after his two daughters.
Today’s decision to thrust himself back into the spotlight is because he wants New Zealand to confront mental health issues and address the nation’s suicide problem. New Zealand has one of the worst suicide rates for under30s in the developed world.
“It breaks my heart that people are out there, struggling, and I know what it’s like,” said Vincent. “You don’t know where to reach, you don’t know where to go.”
“People should know there’s a time down the track where you think, ‘My God, I’ve survived’,” he said.
“I’d like to see a bigger shift in that where there is some kind of subsidy or through employment where there is some sort of Warrant of Fitness on our brain.” Vincent’s fight isn’t over. “I’ve got a new job in a new career, a simple life, two adorable little girls that are my focus at the moment . . . speaking to people about life and encouraging people to move on no matter how hard the situation they are in inspires me more than going to watch a cricket game.
“There is hope and I’m almost in tears, and feel so happy that I’ve conquered it.
“You’re never home and hosed because we don’t know what’s around the corner. It does take time, but it’s certainly inspiring when you can look at it straight on and win.”
Coach Darren Lehmann acknowledges Australia are in the middle of a batting crisis, after crashing to 18-5 then being skittled for 85 on a chaotic first day of the second test against South Africa in Hobart.
South Africa were 171-5 in response at stumps yesterday, already well placed to take an unassailable 2-0 lead in the series despite Mitchell Starc starting the final session with three wickets in the space of 10 deliveries.
Australia relived their Trent Bridge nightmare, falling victim to an inspired Vernon Philander to produce the nation’s lowest test total at home since 1984.
Australia unravelled spectacularly after being sent in under overcast skies on a green-tinged Bellerive pitch, as was the case in Nottingham last year when they were bowled out for 60 in the Ashes decider.
An unbeaten captain’s knock of 48 from Steve Smith represented more than half Australia’s total.
“When you get bowled out for 85 it probably is [a crisis], isn’t it? For us, it’s a case of getting better. We lost 86-10 in the last test,” Lehmann said. “When you’re playing badly, you’re going to cop it . . . there’s a lot of criticism out there, that’s warranted.
“It was a bit of a reminder of Trent Bridge, the way it was going around. Once we have a collapse, we seem to have a big one. Someone needs to stop that rot and have a partnership somewhere.”
That is exactly what Temba Bavuma and Quinton de Kock did for the Proteas, sharing an unbeaten 39-run stand after Starc and Josh Hazlewood reduced the visitors to 132-5.
The hosts have a mountain of work to do on day two, when heavy rain is predicted, as they seek to snap a four-test losing streak and ease the pressure on Lehmann.
“Four tests ago, we were No 1, but now we are way away from that,” Lehmann said. “It’s a great challenge ahead for myself and the coaching group to pull the younger guys through, teach them the game better and improve their techniques.”
Philander was on a hat-trick during a near-unplayable opening spell, which featured the scalps of David Warner, Usman Khawaja and Adam Voges. It ended only when he trudged off the field with a shoulder injury after a mid-pitch collision with Smith.
Philander returned to the attack after lunch, dismissing Joe Mennie and Nathan Lyon to finish with 5-21 from 10.1 overs.
Debutant Callum Ferguson, added to Australia’s XI at the expense of Mitch Marsh in an effort to shore up their misfiring middle order, was run out for three by substitute fielder Dane Vilas.
“It was a magnificent all-round performance. I don’t think there were
a lot of soft dismissals,” Philander said.
It was Australia’s lowest total in 32 years in a home test and would have been so much worse if not for Smith.
Smith and Mennie were the only Australians to reach double figures. Australia’s top seven batsmen, discounting the top scorer, contributed just 12 runs.
Smith also managed to temporarily take Philander out of the attack in the 13th over, but with a bump — not his bat.
Philander, who boasted figures of 3-2, turned and appealed animatedly after a delivery struck Smith’s pads. The skipper accidentally clashed with the right-armer while taking off for a quick single.