Louise Nicholas

VICTIMS’ ADVOCATE

Wow, it’s been 33 years since I was 18 years old — 1986 was the year I had an amazing job at the Bank of New Zealand in Rotorua.

In 1987 the Edgecumbe earthquake struck and led to insurmountable heartache and devastation for so many in the BOP.

I remember going through my own insurmountable heartache.

As an 18-19 year old I prayed that the harm would stop. It didn’t. But my hope and escape was my new boyfriend Ross, he kept me alive but didn’t know he was — crazy, aye?

My learning from this has been watching my own daughters go through life being wrapped in cotton wool until they said “no more mum, we’re ok”.

But I wasn’t . . . if I had my time again I would tell myself I need to talk to someone, I need for people to know, I need to tell me that I’ve done nothing wrong; they hurt me.

I have no blame or shame to show. As a young person now my advice is: enjoy life, be you, do what your heart tells you to. BUT, yep, there’s a but, sorry — not everyone has the same love of life, they want to hurt you — so I say go out, wear what you want, drink as much as you want BUT have that sober friend there alongside you. My daughters did, and they have enjoyed life.

It’s like having a sober driver. You’ve got a sober mate. Take turns looking after each other, stay safe by staying together and never be afraid to ask for help if you think stuff doesn’t feel or look right. Follow your dreams. You will make stuff happen, just believe . . . I did.