‘I thought I was amazing’

Tauranga mum Haydee Richards’ life became consumed by drugs over several years.

Richards discovered speed when her daughter was 11 and her son 7.

In just a few months, she moved on to crystal meth and thought it was “awesome”.

Before that she had struggled managing everything, but now she felt like she could cope. “I was in control, I thought, ‘I am on to it’. Actually I thought I was amazing.”

Her house was “immaculate”. She stayed up all night cleaning.

Everything was “perfectly organised” for her children.

“Lunches, rosters, bring-aplates . . . I had everything under control.”

She didn’t think of herself as a drug user. “It didn’t seem like a big deal, as I only did it weekends. Soon I would start Friday. Then I’d feel so bad on Monday I’d have a pick-me-up. Soon I was on it all week.”

Her weight dropped to 39kg. “I was super skinny. Clothes hung off me. I thought I was awesomely hot,” said Richards.

But her earlier confidence began to crumble. Within a year she was taking meth intravenously.

“I would never take drugs in front of the kids, but when I became stressed I’d go in the bedroom, shut the door, inject meth, come out and be able to cope.”

By then Richards was injecting so much meth — up to 3g a day — that she began dealing to fund her habit. She also had gang connections.

“It becomes a full-time job. I became totally self-absorbed. I would only hang out with people who did drugs. I would do deals. I didn’t care, the only thing that mattered was making sure I had enough. I had to inject more and more, just to feel okay. The only problem was running out.”

Twelve years after she first took meth, police raided her house. She was jailed for two years, three months and her daughter had to sell the home.