UGLY BUT SURPRISINGLY DELICIOUS
Clarke Gayford develops an appetite for the delicacies of Golden Bay
Today’s Tākaka is a microcosm of a multicultural success story where, after a period of suspicion and sideways glances, “Hippies” and “Straights” move freely among each other, both benefiting from the different perspective on life each brings to the table. Or so say the local “hippie” and self-confessed “straight” sitting at my table, after a bottle of the local finest has eased the conversation into a colourful and unique windthrough of this area’s rich history.
To paraphrase — and apologies for the recollection but the wine really was rather good — basically, a whole lot of country folk were jolted from their idyllic sleepwalk when the New Zealand Government, concerned about people leaving regions for cities, opened up cheap plots of rural land in the 1970s. This coincided with a period of global conscious thought, driven by a fear of nuclear war and a trend of being selfsufficient, which resulted in a bunch of hippies arriving in Tākaka en masse. What a small-town shock it must have been to have 400 polaropposite new residents turn up in a single year, followed by even more the following.
The gently seasoned hippie I met, very much enjoyed telling me of the initial hostility they faced. It resulted in pushback from these newcomers that saw them get organised and eventually take over the local council.
This story goes a long way towards explaining how unique the area has become.
As a community, this chance of geography, complete with difficultaccess pinch points, has been allowed to develop just a little bit differently to the rest of New Zealand, and I like it a lot. As the woke of today would offer, “It’s a vibe.”
Situated a couple of hours’ drive from Nelson, heading towards the South Island’s sand sickle, you get there over a hill locals call Marble Mountain. It’s an adventure in itself, from the Riwaka Resurgence, the Ngarua Caves, or the Te Waikoropupū (Pupū) Springs with the clearest freshwater in the world, just two metres shy of optically pure, to the Anatoki Salmon farm where you can catch and eat your own fish within minutes of arriving. All this just on the drive in.
Other attractions in the area include the familyrun Farewell Spit Eco Tours for some of the best birdwatching in the country, and walking the main drag of Tākaka for some of the best vegan food found anywhere. From the famous Mussel Inn to the fabulous Zatori Lodge, visitors are well catered to for entertainment, food and a good bed, all wrapped up in a warm parcel of Aotearoa aptly named Golden Bay.
But this was all just a happy bonus to what I had really come for. Another delicacy exists here that I can confidently say most New Zealanders don’t have a clue about. Golden Bay is home to geoduck but pronounced “gooey duck”, a rare breed of gaper shellfish that exists in very few places in the world. The origin of its name is a clue to its appearance and title as the world’s ugliest shellfish, it being derived from an old language that translates as “burrowing genitals”, which brings me to its other known moniker, “penis clams”. Living to more than 160 years and weighing up to 750g each, geoduck is a delicacy in Asia where it can fetch upwards of $300 apiece. However, your natural first thought upon seeing one is, ‘Which sicko figured out you could eat these?’ With a taste described as a cross between a scallop and an oyster that I can confirm is accurate, this surprisingly delicious shellfish is just another example of this special area of our country. An area complete with a bunch of unique inhabitants left to do their own thing and develop in their own special way together.