Grace’s murder appalled us — but is NZ any safer for women now?
Yes and no, say those tackling domestic violence on the frontline, writes Cherie Howie
When she was murdered, we said a lot. We sent messages of love to her family. We flooded talkback and online comment sections.
Clutching tea lights and flowers clipped from our own gardens, we fell silent at vigils for a 22-year-old British backpacker we’d never met — and then spoke loudly for change, both in how women are sometimes treated in intimate relationships and encounters, and beyond to wider societal attitudes about misogyny and sexual violence.
On Friday Grace Millane’s killer — who cannot legally be identified — was told by Justice Simon Moore in the High Court at Auckland he must spent at least 17 years in jail for the December 2018 murder.
The life sentence with a minimum non-parole period of 17 years comes two months after a jury rejected the 28-year-old’s claim Millane died accidentally during rough sex, and instead said he was guilty of strangling the tourist, before stuffing her body into a suitcase and burying the suitcase in the Waitakere Ranges.
There’s been a lot of talk about the case. But has anything changed?
The Me Too effect
Yes and no, say those on the frontline — among them the mother of murdered Dunedin woman Sophie Elliott and Holly Carrington, a policy adviser for domestic abuse charity Shine.
“Change in terms of public attention and beliefs generally happens slowly . . . it’s a drip effect over time. But there have been some pretty significant events [lately],” Carrington said.
Chief was the Me Too movement, sparked by sexual-abuse allegations against Hollywood movie producer Harvey Weinstein, which prompted an outpouring of stories from others who said they, too, had suffered sexual harassment and violence from figures both powerful and not.
“Awareness around this issue has exploded,” Carrington said.
“It was slowly growing, but since Me Too nobody can say they don’t know [violence against women] is a problem.” Similarly, Millane’s murder couldn’t be ignored.
“Someone losing their life is really hard to ignore . . . and because she’s a young woman, a lot of people can relate to her as being someone they know, like a sister.”
When White Ribbon came to New Zealand in the mid-2000s, “men didn’t want to know”, she said.
But a decade ago they started approaching White Ribbon street stands. The change was also apparent in domestic abuse awareness training.
“There’s definitely a shift and I think it’s more obvious amongst young men . . . there’s more men willing to speak up.”
But change on a meaningful level took time, she said.
“The problem side of it is still a massive problem.”
The need for action
The slow pace of change was obvious in the number of men charged in the 11 months since strangulation was made a specific criminal offence in December 2018, White Ribbon manager Rob McCann said.
Of 1365 charged with strangulation, 1319 were men, according to police data. Most victims were women.
“This is an opportunity for us to think, ‘Are we just going to be horrified, or are we going to do something about it?’ That means we need to start looking at causes and what we can do to prevent them. And it’s not just locking bad men away.”
Millane’s killer “didn’t come out of a vacuum”.
“They’re created and supported to become violent men with very bad attitudes towards women. Many people would’ve seen this behaviour over a long period. When we see that, we have to say, ‘Mate, that’s not okay’. Go back far enough in someone’s life and you’ll find those pivotal moments where you might be talking in a derogatory fashion about women and your mates turn the other way, and so you think that’s okay.”
He also encouraged parents to talk to their children about porn, so they understood what a respectful relationship was.
He hoped Kiwis chose change following Millane’s murder, and the many other acts of violence against women in New Zealand.
“There is the potential for our country to come out of this and go, ‘We actually need to do something about it’. Or we can just be horrified by it, and then we’ll read about it again in a year.”
Our long journey
Millane’s murder and that of Dunedin teen Amber-Rose Rush — stabbed 10 months earlier by former friend Venod Skantha, whom Rush had accused of sexually assaulting her — left her wondering if work tackling domestic violence was in vain, Lesley Elliott said.
Elliott founded the Sophie Elliott Foundation, which started the Loves-Me-Not programme, now run by police, to educate young people and their families about the dangers of unsafe and violent relationships, after her daughter was murdered by former boyfriend Clayton Weatherston in 2008.
“When events like the murder of Grace Millane happen it can shake your faith into believing efforts to tackle domestic violence aren’t really working. During the trial I found myself deeply affected and wanted to reach out to her parents . . . at the same time the murderer of Amber-Rose Rush was on trial in Dunedin and that felt too close to home. So one’s belief that efforts of the foundation, and others, might be in vain began to surface.”
She urged those inflicting domestic violence to change and for victims to “not accept violence in any form”. But, she also knew the efforts made in Sophie’s memory were “making a difference”.
Young women and their families had written to her “in droves”, Elliott said. “[That] anecdotal evidence . . . gives me tremendous heart that change will happen.”
But it wouldn’t be next week or even next year.
“It’ll probably take a generation, so we have to hang in there. Sadly there will be more Graces, Amber Roses and Sophies before we see a significant difference.”
Ahospital that employed killer doctor Venod Skantha hasn’t made changes after he lied to avoid being sacked — saying the “unique event” mustn’t destroy trust with staff.
Southern DHB was set to fire Skantha for serious misconduct, including turning up to work smelling of alcohol but allowed him to keep working after he lied and said his mother had died.
Skantha went on to murder 16-year-old Amber-Rose Rush after she threatened to tell his bosses and police about inappropriate behaviour by him, including allegedly providing minors with alcohol and offering minors money for sex.
The Herald on Sunday sought information under the Official Information Act (OIA) from Southern DHB, including what changes had been made after the tragedy. In response, Chris Fleming, SDHB chief executive, said documentation about changes didn’t exist. “This event has been distressing for all staff involved, however, we need to remember this is a unique event and we still seek to operate a high trust environment with staff who are experiencing distress,” Fleming wrote.
“The despicable actions of one staff member should not jeopardise the important values we seek to hold of trust in our staff. Evaluating any request for leave involves judgment from those dealing with this.”
Fleming declined to release other requested information, including copies of legal advice relating to Skantha and the murder trial and his employment file, saying this could prejudice the maintenance of law.
“We note that Mr Skantha is still awaiting sentencing and will then have a statutory appeal period.”
Skantha was found guilty in November. He had worked as a house officer at Invercargill Hospital in May 2016 but later transferred to Dunedin Hospital.
At trial, SDHB chief medical officer Dr Nigel Millar said he’d decided to fire the doctor after Skantha turned up to work with two friends in July 2017 smelling of booze, before berating staff, crying and treating a patient.
However, Skantha’s lawyer wrote to the DHB and asked it to take into account the recent death of the doctor’s mother. Skantha’s lie worked.
He killed Amber-Rose on February 2, 2018, and will be sentenced next month.