It’s Christmas ... in October!

Christmas comes but once a year, and apparently it’s on October 15.

That’s when I got my first Christmas goodie: a chocolate Santa from a subversive coworker disgusted Countdown was already selling them.

Christmas now rubs shoulders with Halloween.

I amnot anti-Christmas, but I am anti-Christmas in midOctober.

Too much Christmas is a form of mental and financial torture.

Living well means taking part in society’s calendar events, but we mustn’t let money-grabbing ‘‘Big Retail’’ define them.

Instead, let me help you define your own, with my Twelve Rules of Christmas.

Turn the telly off when you see the first Christmas advert. Don’t turn it on until the tree comes down. Bye-bye Big Retail pressure.

Don’t repeat past mistakes. Ten years ago, I went to a Westfield mall in the week before Christmas. Never, ever

One: Two: GOLDEN RULES

Don’t let ‘‘Big Retail’’ hijack Christmas Keep gift-giving moderate Focus on maximising merriness per dollar spent again! Now, presents get bought early, and stored in the present cupboard.

Focus on traditions you love, which you will find are ‘‘doing’’ traditions, not buying traditions. For me, it’s making mincemeat, dressing the Christmas tree, and steaming and setting fire to a pudding.

Make Christmas a church day. I love church at Christmas. The wife and children go. I sit in the garden with a book and tea. Church reminds us what Jesus would have thought of commercialising his birthday.

Be outdoors. Gardens, beaches, and parks are better places than the space directly in front of the TV. Breakfast at the beach tastes better than breakfast at home, even if the food is the same. Outdoors children are happy children.

The quality of a Christmas is not measured by how much you spend. Children want happy, unstressed parents more than expensive presents. Dial back the

Three: Four: Five: Six:

gift-giving. People who never get gifts include neighbours, workmates, adult friends and your children’s friends.

Set a budget. Make it stretch. Join a supermarket savings scheme, use amassed rewards points to buy gifts, etc.

‘‘Ten years ago, I went to a Westfield mall in the week before Christmas. Never, ever again!’’

Seven: