Get help to settle family disputes over death wishes
If a family can’t agree on where a deceased family member’s ashes are to rest the question of how to settle this sometimes arises.
What happens to the deceased’s remains is usually determined by the executor of the deceased’s will (or by the next of kin if the person didn’t leave a will).
If the will states what he/she wished to happen to their remains after death the family should try to respect those wishes, though it is important to note that they aren’t legally binding — they don’t have to be followed.
However, it is not uncommon for family members to be in dispute over these matters, particularly if the deceased is part of a bicultural family and both sides have different traditions. For example the deceased’s iwi may insist that the body be buried in the family urupa (cemetery), while the deceased may have wished to be buried somewhere else.
If the family can’t agree on the matter then their main options to resolve this are mediation or going to the High Court. Mediation is when the people in dispute meet together, usually either in person or over the phone, assisted by an impartial, trained mediator.
Mediators are not advocates for either party, they are independent people committed to the process of assisting the parties to reach agreement. Mediation is generally less expensive than legal action but relies on the other family members being willing to take part.
Getting a case heard in the High Court can be expensive and time-consuming — if you are considering going to court it’s best to get legal advice first.
For free and confidential advice and information on this or any other matter visit the Palmerston North Citizens Advice Bureau in Hancock Community House, 77 King St. We are open Mon-Fri from 9 am-4.30 pm, call 357 0647 or 0800 367 222.
We have a free legal advice service by qualified lawyers most Thursday evenings at 7.30 pm, and a JP is available on Tuesdays from noon to 2.30 p.m. No appointment is necessary for either of these services.