Unbearable tragedies need our response
Most people would find it barely credible that two youngsters not yet in their teens would take their own lives within a single month.
The circumstances of the unrelated deaths in Auckland last month of two girls aged 9 and 10 have been referred to the coroner, and are suspected to be self-inflicted.
Alarming, and unbearably sad for those involved, the story should not surprise the wider community.
New Zealand has among the highest teen suicide rates in the developed world.
Children are developing earlier. Social media and internet usage bring the widest range of information and influences to every home.
Poverty, homelessness, teen pregnancy, domestic abuse and other potential factors in self-harm are ever present. Then there are the likes of cyber-bullying and pressures to succeed or conform.
Suicide can be a cry for help, an escape from circumstances that seem overwhelming, or even a result of substance abuse and peer-pressure.
Whatever the individual factors, our disturbingly high rate – especially among the young – ought to be a cause of significant national concern.
In the year ending June 2016, eight children aged 10-14 died by suicide, compared to 10 in the same age group during the previous year
Who would have thought primary principals must be prepared in case such sad and traumatic events affect their school community?
It is difficult indeed to understand the inner workings of the preadolescent mind. In attempting to respond appropriately to suicide, we must be ever alert and sensitive to any nuances that might be interpreted as glorifying it.
We do need to discuss the issue, whether at national, school community level or dinner table level. In the latter instance, parents ought to create and open environment for discussion and carefully select appropriate language.
Experts say phrases such as ‘‘gone into the sky’’ or ‘‘gone to a better place’’ are not helpful and open to interpretation.
It is not clear at what age children start to grasp the concept of the permanence of death, but discussion of this most sensitive of topics ought to be factual, not sugar-coated with euphemisms.
The wider conversation of how to address this terrible toll should be equally direct.
WHERE TO GET HELP
Lifeline (open 24/7) - 0800 543 354 Depression Helpline (open 24/7) 0800 111 757
Suicide Crisis Helpline (open 24/7) 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO).
Youthline (open 24/7) - 0800 376 633. You can also text 234 for free between 8am and midnight, or email talk@youthline.co.nz