Beating depression: Condition is ‘not a choice’

A Palmerston North woman has opened up about her dark battle with depression in the hope of encouraging others to find life’s brighter side.

Lisa Hopper, 31, has struggled with depression for as long as she can remember.

It started in high school, but at the time, she didn’t know what it was. She eventually went to see a doctor at age 22 and expected him to say: ‘‘Oh you know, it’s just life’’.

Instead, she was diagnosed with depression.

‘‘I just didn’t think he would actually diagnose me with it – I just thought I was going to get flogged off, told to go and have a rest.’’

Hopper has been on antidepressants for about nine years. During her journey she has struggled, turned to alcohol, avoided people, doubted herself and felt alone.

But, with the support of her partner and a counsellor, Hopper found a way to get her life back on track.

Now she knows there’s a brighter side to life, the mother of four is encouraging others to speak up and find that out for themselves.

Hopper’s said one of the worst things about depression was feeling alone.

‘‘A lot of my friends would have a coffee and I would make excuses – ‘I’m not feeling well’ or ‘I’m sick’. It was almost a struggle to sit and have a conversation with people.’’

When she was really down, she would cry or stay in bed. Some days, she relied on alcohol.

‘‘I was drinking to cope. I’d have a bad day or I was stressed out with the kids and I’d just go and get wine.’’

Hopper said her drinking began causing memory loss, blackouts, and hangovers that made her feel more depressed and anxious.

‘‘I wasn’t an alcoholic, but I just knew the way I was drinking wasn’t good.’’

Hopper began replacing a glass of wine with a walk instead and found exercise hugely beneficial.

She found seeing a counsellor once a week helped her to release her stress and feel heard.

‘‘One day I just had to sort of wake up.’’

Hopper has four children aged 13, 10, nine, and six. She also cares for her 31⁄2 -year-old niece.

Being a mum saved her, giving her a purpose and a reason to ‘‘keep going’’, she said.

Mental illness wasn’t uncommon in her family, with issues of self-harming, suicide attempts and drugs also in the mix, she said.

But it was also an extremely normal thing to go through and something she believed was misunderstood.

‘‘In a perfect world, if we could all wake up and feel excited about life, we would. It’s definitely not a choice.’’

She said people needed to be more aware of how to approach those with depression.

‘‘It’s just the way that we use words and point fingers at people rather than ask if our friends are alright.’’

Today, Hopper is fit, healthy and wants others to know they’re not alone.

‘‘No matter what you’re struggling with, there is someone out there who is struggling or has struggled [with the same thing] and it’s OK to talk about it. It doesn’t have to be this hidden thing.

‘‘Because if you don’t talk about it and you keep it to yourself, it honestly just chews you up.’’

She said it was important for those who were depressed to also realise they were not a burden to other people.

Hooper has created a Facebook page to share her story and allow others to share theirs.

She also hoped to see coffee groups and walking groups start up in Palmerston North as a way for people to support one another.

‘‘I just didn’t think he would actually diagnose me with it – I just thought I was going to get flogged off, told to go and have a rest.’’ Lisa Hopper