Burnt alive for parents’ poverty

Domestic violence increased after Nepal’s 2015 earthquake, as people found their lives ripped apart. Kirsty Lawrence and Warwick Smith witnessed the terrible toll that abuse takes.

Even after months of emotional and physical abuse from her husband, Anjali Shrestha never thought he was capable of attempting to kill her. However, one evening, after yet another argument, Shrestha stood frozen in horror as he poured petrol over her and lit a match.

Every year, thousands of Nepalese people are burnt. Some are genuine accidents. Others are acts of domestic violence or suicide.

After the earthquake in 2015, people were more vulnerable than ever before.

UN Women said there had been an increase in incidents of domestic violence against women survivors since the earthquake.

Shrestha had been living with her nonbiological father since she was 6. Her mother died of blood cancer and, unable to cope, her father ran away. Her nonbiological father did not have money and was living with her nephew in a temporary shelter after the earthquake.

On a visit with a friend to a village in Sindhupalchowk, Shrestha was told her friend could introduce her to a man who would change her life forever. She suggested arranging a marriage between them. Shrestha agreed.

Shrestha said she never told her husband that her family was poor, but he also never asked. After the wedding, the couple decided to head to Kathmandu to visit Shrestha’s father. It was then her husband realised how poor her family was.

Everything changed. He started to abuse her. Physically and mentally.

‘‘He would say ‘I thought you were from a rich family but you are not, I was cheated’.’’

One day, when he was drunk, he called another woman on her phone, and told Shrestha he was going to find another wife. ‘‘‘I will murder you first, then I will marry another girl’, he said.’’

He grabbed the petrol and poured it all over her. Then, he set her alight.

Shrestha said she screamed and called for help. But nobody came.

Eventually, his family stepped in to extinguish the flames.

But the damage was done. She had burns to her torso, arms and the top of her legs.

When she arrived at hospital, her husband told her that if she said she had burnt herself, he would pay for her medical bills. So she lied and said it was a suicide attempt.

After being discharged, she was sent home with him. And the threats kept coming. Shrestha realised things were not going to get better, so she was forced to go back and live with her father in his temporary shelter.

Living in the shelter meant Shrestha was open to infection in her burns.

Because of where she was burnt, her arms and torso started to stick together. In March, she went back to hospital for another surgery to improve her movement.

The Burns Violence Survivors (BVS) organisation, a charity that works with burn victims, was the only reason Shrestha could get these surgeries. Without its support she could not afford to get them done.

The organisation has been helping pay for her medical costs and counselling sessions.

Nurses at the TU Teaching Hospital, Kalpana Sitaula, 56, and Aechana Randjit, 46, said the ward had nine beds, five designated for burns.

If burns beds were full when a woman was brought into hospital, they were referred to a private hospital. However, most couldn’t afford it.

Sitaula said the government didn’t provide much financial support.

The burns unit works closely with BVS, which helped pay medical costs for some patients who would otherwise not be able to afford it.

Medicine was the only thing patients had to pay for at the teaching hospital, which was a minimum of 20,000 to 30,000 rupees, about NZ$200 to NZ$300.

The private hospitals are five times the price. Kirsty Lawrence and Warwick Smith’s trip to Nepal was funded by the Asia New Zealand Foundation.