OUR PEOPLE TODAY
Seriously? A current affairs show yet to sparkle
When Jeremy Wells said ‘‘those were our people today’’ I almost puked. Sorry Jeremy, they weren’t our people. They certainly weren’t mine.
I watched Seven Sharp (TV One, Monday to Friday) to view the rapport between Jeremy and Hilary Barry and see if the programme sparkled like its competitor, The Project (TV3, Monday to Friday).
Instead, I watched Luke Williams, the tragic half of The Bushwackers wrestling team, cavort about with Tim Wilson on the floor. Luke made little sense. If he’d played Super 15 rugby, he’d be ordered off with concussion and shell shock in the first minute.
It was sad to see TV current affairs reduced to the worst form of pretend. Hilary and Jeremy carefully exchanged pleasantries like a couple on their first date and the interview with 76-year-old Kenny Smith, taking part in his 47th Grand Prix, was passable.
Kenny refuses to call it quits and wants to join the 50th anniversary lineup when he’s 80. I’m not sure how competitive he is and sadly no-one asked that question. Why not? With Kenny off the pace, no-one wants to see him ridiculed like veteran Engelbert Humperdinck, who competed for England in the Eurovision Song Contest and came nowhere. Engelbert once sang Please Release Me. And they did.
Swipe Right For Murder (TV3, Wednesdays) was a confusing title for all those who don’t date on the internet, and even more confusing for those who can’t find the internet. But hang in there, viewers, this series is good.
In the preamble, we were told 96 million search for love on the internet. That’s more than the population of Terrace End cemetery, so it has to be worldwide. Australian forensic psychiatrist Dr Danny Sullivan explained that people conceal or manufacture their identity online, so be careful, be very careful. Sharon Siermans from Ballarat made one mistake and was murdered. The 29-year-old solo mum dated Jason Godfrey on the internet and decided to go the next step. They met at the railway station so she could make tracks if she didn’t like him. She didn’t. His hair and clothes were a mess and he was missing teeth. He was probably of foreign extraction. But she made the fatal mistake of taking him home before showing him the door.
Stung by her rejection and armed with a cricket bat, he returned several weeks later and attacked and attempted to rape her. Her body was found the following morning. But Godfrey was stupid. He stole her cellphone and, when he activated it a couple of days later, he was quickly located and arrested.
Godfrey wasn’t his real name. He was Jason Dinsley, a convicted rapist out on parole. Naturally, he didn’t mention his past when dating Sharon or to his existing girlfriend, Sonji, who appeared to have the personality of a dense elephant seal protecting her offspring. The episode, told in documentary form, was gripping. It’s worth a billboard – even Three Billboards Outside Ebbing – but sadly won’t stop internet dating or the online predators.
I’m sure there’s been an episode on internet dating on SVU but not this time. Welcome back, Special Victims Unit
(TV3, Tuesdays), but you’ll have to do better than your first episode. Tom Williams, wearing a Prince Charming costume and Halloween mark, has been attacking women and, when cornered by Rollins and Carisi, slips to his death. He’s a stereotype crazy from Criminal
Minds out of NCIS and dusted off for SVU. Next week he’ll reappear on Hawaii Five-o in a Halloween costume with Prince Charming mask. I really like Making New
Zealand (Prime, Sundays). It gives an insight into how our country has grown and developed since the 19th century but it’s boring. It smacks of a NZ Film Unit doco from the 1960s. Yet what it tells us about who we are and where we’ve come from is absorbing.
Last week, it talked about buildings and how Ma¯ ori preferred temporary structures to the stone monoliths favoured by our early settlers. Our heritage can come alive in the hands of skilled presenters like Peter Fitzsimons and Alex Polizzi, who can personalise the story and that’s where Making New Zealand misses out. I know Bill English is looking for a job but what about Helen Clark or John Key? What are they doing now?