Remorseful father takes stand

A father who has confessed to abusing his wife cried in the dock while describing how he also beat his son, but denies raping him.

He sobbed as he spoke of not being involved as a parent and of his failed marriage, as he was questioned by a defence lawyer at the Palmerston North District Court yesterday.

But he repeatedly denied his son’s descriptions of being raped and abused.

‘‘I know I wasn’t a good father. The physical violence I gave [my son] was totally wrong, but the long-term pain that boy has suffered as a result of the way I treated his mother was far worse than physical or verbal violence I dished out to [him].’’

Exclusive Brethren church meetings dominated the family’s life, with pressure every weekday evening after work to get the whole family to a gathering, as well as morning meetings most Saturdays, and an intense church schedule on Sundays.

In 2012 the man pleaded guilty to raping his wife. Yesterday he told the court he had hoped to be reconciled with his family, even up until that trial.

The man cannot be identified to protect his son, and the father, mother and son have all been excluded from the church.

The father told the court he had used a wooden spoon to beat his son for punishment, as a way to curb himself from going too far, which he had done when he beat him with his hands. However, the accusation he hit his son so hard that he broke the wooden spoon was not true, he said.

He also denied allegations he locked his son in a shed, a chicken coop, the trunk of a car and threw him into a soak pit.

The father said he asked the boy to be shut into the boot of a car with a torch so they could find a leak in the car, and that they had dug a soak hole at their house. He had laughed when he saw the small boy in the big hole, but had not thrown him in, and was surprised his son had been so scared by the incident.

His son had enjoyed working alongside him to help fix things from an early age, and they often worked on projects together.

Before the man went to jail in 2012, his son had lived with him twice, and during and after his jail term his son had continued to phone him and write to him. But as his son became older he had become troubled and could fly off the handle, the father said.

After leaving jail the man was told his release conditions could be violated if he got into an argument with his son. So when his son asked to stay with him, he said no.

After that the son told police of the sexual and physical abuse allegations, defence lawyer Fergus Steedman said.

The jury trial in front of Judge Jim Large continues today.

‘I know I wasn’t a good father. The physical violence I gave [my son] was totally wrong . . .’’ Defendant