Connecting is the key to happiness
Iam lucky enough to be writing this looking out over Lake Tarawera, one of New Zealand’s unspoilt natural beauty spots. I am staying in a wee bach with my daughters and partner, celebrating a milestone birthday, and I can’t think of a better place.
This morning, we borrowed a couple of kayaks and two of us paddled around the shoreline, checking out the amazing native bush and marvelling at the fat kereru¯ and cheeky tu¯ ı¯ flying around it. Not a sound other than birdsong, and the occasional shriek as someone braved the cool water…bliss!
For me, moments like this are truly to be treasured. All too few and far between perhaps in my busy life, but most special.
What strikes me now though, as I sit looking out at the lake and trees, is that we shouldn’t wait for a special occasion to do this. We should be connecting with this incredible, remarkable land of ours all the time.
This week is Mental Health Awareness week, and their focus this year is on exactly that – connecting with nature, and how important it is for our wellbeing. A sentiment I tautoko wholeheartedly.
During my working week, around half of the patients I see are experiencing distress of some sort or another. This can range from mild, short-lived distress perhaps precipitated by exam pressure, fears over getting a job, or the break-down of a relationship, to much more severe, long-lasting distress.
Some of these will be entirely situational and changing that situation can be the solution but others won’t, and will either result in, or be a manifestation of, some sort of mental illness.
A tiny number of the people I see will have such great distress that life doesn’t seem worth living – for those, suicide seems like an option, and whether or not they act on it, hearing that people even feel like that just breaks my heart.
We live in a beautiful, progressive, peaceful country, populated by largely kind, caring, accepting people – how can things be so bad that leaving life seems the better option?
Of course, I know there are a multitude of reasons why people feel like this, and that many people I see aren’t surrounded by the support, safety and love I take for granted.
There is no simple fix, no magic wand to wave that removes distress, but I think there are some pretty basic steps we can all take to make this corner of the world feel like a place that we all want to live in – and really live in, not just exist.
To me the most important thing we can do is to connect. This means connect with each other, as well as with the world we live in.
How often do we work or live alongside someone and not know anything really about them? Not know the things that bring them joy, or the things they may be struggling with at home?
So ask. It’s as simple as that. Check in with the people around you. Say hello and ask how they are. Suggest a break-time walk or plan a social event outdoors for your work team or a group of neighbours.
It could lead to an incredible friendship or a fantastic working partnership, but it could also just be the difference for them that makes life feel a little bit more worth living.
Be present. Be mindful. And if you can do that, you will truly be happier and more at peace.
Connecting with nature is easy but just as rewarding – almost all of us have access to our natural environment in one way or another, we just probably forget about it when it’s on our doorstep.
So I challenge you to spend a week having a walk outside during your lunch break (and actually taking a lunch break if you normally work right through instead), and visiting a park, piece of bush or beach at the weekend.
Fifty metres from where I am sitting there is a barbecue by the lake edge.
A big family group is cooking their sausages while the kids splash in the water’s edge and kick a soccer ball around. Their laughter tells me this is a good thing to do.
The added bonus is that often connecting with nature leads to physical activity, another important step towards wellbeing.
If you want to connect with nature and give back at the same time, think about volunteering work. Doing something purely for the good of someone or something else is a fantastic way to improve your wellbeing.
There are a multitude of opportunities out there: from planting trees, to beach clear-ups, bird counting and backyard trapping.
Visit your local DOC or Forest and Bird office, or check out the options online at Conservation Volunteers.
And finally, disconnect – by this I mean, turn off your devices. Again it’s a challenge, but try switching off your phone, ipad, TV and anything else you are connected to, for a few hours each evening and at the weekend.
You will be amazed at the headspace it will give you.
I fear we are all so constantly attuned to waiting for the next contact via these mediums, that we forget about the connection we are currently in – whether that is with a person, or simply the space we are in.
Be present. Be mindful. And if you can do that, you will truly be happier and more at peace.
For more information on the five ways to wellbeing, or to read about or get involved in this year’s Mental Health Awareness Week, visit mentalhealth.org.nz