A cricketing year like no others
The year begins with New Zealand declared the third best test cricket-playing nation on Earth. Admittedly, the margins are thin and the methodology beyond my humble capacity. The official ICC rankings board is, on first glance, a contradictory beast.
There are columns that list respective points and columns that list respective ratings. The two in no way line up. New Zealand has somehow accrued 3213 points, a mighty achievement, especially in
comparison to poor old Zimbabwe, languishing at the bottom of the table on a mere 138.
However, if our focus of comparison is, say, traditional powerhouse Australia, things get complicated. You might think after a year of cheating, lies and lamentations, the banning of their brightest players, coaches and administrators falling on their swords and endless tears before bedtime, Australian points might just have slipped below ours.
They certainly deserved to be docked a few and while they won as many tests as New Zealand did last year, they lost five times more. When it comes to drawn games we can also claim bragging rights, having a 2 to 1 advantage.
Clearly, you cannot boil it all down to a win-loss-draw ratio. Australia took on fellow heavyhitters England, South Africa and India, resorting to sandpaper only once. New Zealand faced opposition that a rugby scribe might label ‘‘tier two’’: West Indies and Sri Lanka. That said, the first home series win against England since 1984 was nothing to sneeze at and New Zealand went Aussie one better in the UAE, winning in Pakistan’s adopted home.
For all that, Australia has amassed 3663 points. Basic mathematics suggests a margin of 453, in the Ockers’ favour. Yet, somehow, we have a rating of 107 to their 102. Go figure.
Come December, No 3 plays No 5. While a shorter version of the game enjoys a world cup and our iconic behemoths will be aiming for an oval ball ‘‘three-peat’’ in the Land of the Rising Sun, you could easily make a case for the Melbourne Boxing Day Test as the prime sporting event of 2019.
World cups come around every four years, but the last time we took on the Aussies at the MCG, on the day after Christmas, I enjoyed what my wife has described as a ‘‘caterpillar moustache’’.
It was the 1980s and I was not alone. Specifically, it was 1987. What an epic tussle it was, with Martin Crowe and Richard Hadlee at their peaks, every inch the equals, if not the betters of an Australian team boasting the likes of Allan Border, Dean Jones and Craig Mcdermott.
The three-match series hung in the balance when Australia lost its ninth wicket, 20 runs short of their target. The fortitude of No 11 batsman Mike Whitney, holding out against an over of Hadlee pace, entered Australian folklore. A draw secured, Australia won 1-0.
If you watched the game live, you remember something else. The penultimate over saw Danny Morrison bowling to fiery Australian Mcdermott. His fifth delivery struck Mcdermott plum in front of middle stump. So plum that Ian Chappell, not known for objective assessments, particularly when in the employ of Kerry Packer, thought Mcdermott had been bowled. Umpire Dick French saw it otherwise. If ever there was a hometown decision it was this. As a 21-year-old, conclusions were drawn. I cannot say I’ve seen much in the intervening time to alter these views.
From Lance Cairns being noballed for ‘‘intimidatory bowling’’ in 1980, through to Martin Sneddon’s disallowed catch in the underarm game, the underarm delivery itself, Greg Dyer claiming he’d caught a ball that patently spilt on to the ground and French’s one-sided umpiring, don’t tell me that ‘‘sandpapergate’’ was an anomaly.
Can the Black Caps right the wrongs of the past with a win at the MCG? Australia will be a stronger unit with the return of Steve Smith, David Warner and Cameron Bancroft and the 2015 world cup capitulation still casts a long shadow.
Kane Williamson will have to be our Crowe, Trent Boult and Tim Southee could amount to a Hadlee between them and what wouldn’t you give for a Lance Cairns-like batting onslaught from Colin de Grandhomme? At least the team will have one advantage over their 1987 predecessors: neutral umpires.