Creatingnew Christmas traditions
While some people might decide a normal Christmas is exactly what they need this year, for many, 2020 offers space to build new traditions, finds Sophie Aubrey.
If ever there was an opportunity to reshape how you celebrate Christmas, it’s this year. That’s the thinking of Jessica Beaton, who, as she spent more time than usual at home with her four sons, realised they played with only a small portion of their toys.
‘‘Throughout this past year, I’ve tried to declutter a lot of things they don’t play with and I find when they have less, they almost play with more,’’ says Beaton of her boys, George, 8, Hamish, 6, Louis, 4, and Jude, 18 months.
It’s why Beaton and her husband, from Sydney, have decided they’ll be buying fewer presents this Christmas. They are focused on teaching their children messages of ‘‘less is more’’ and that December 25 is about far more than the pile of gifts under the Christmas tree (or in the Beatons’ case, a Christmas branch, to reduce costs and waste).
‘‘It’s disheartening to spend money on gifts and they hardly play with them, or they don’t last,’’ she says.
As well as buying less, Beaton will continue a practice she started last year: asking extended family to buy the kids a special joint gift – like a football goal or a kayak – rather than lots of little presents.
Meanwhile, present-buying for adults will be restricted to a group Secret Santa.
Dr Tim Sharp, Australian psychologist and founder of The Happiness Institute, says while some people might decide a normal Christmas is exactly what they need this year, for many, 2020 is a time to build new traditions.
‘‘That’s something that parents can talk to their kids about: that as nice as it is to get a new toy, we can also bring in some elements of giving to others and thinking of others,’’ Sharp says.
He says there are effective, positive ways to do this. ‘‘We can teach our children messages along the lines of in giving, we receive, and in doing good, we feel good.’’
Beaton has been helping her sons recognise the importance of giving back by donating their toys and having them set aside a portion of their pocket money each week to give to charity at Christmas.
Sharp recommends helping children get involved. For example, implement a ‘‘one in, one out’’ rule, where for every toy a child receives, they have to choose one they own to give away, and take it to hand in.
And after the pandemic took away the ability to spend time with family and friends, Beaton will be emphasising the value of beingwith loved ones this Christmas.
It’s why she’s also very open to activity-based gifts for the kids.
Sharp adds: ‘‘If there’s one thing we’ve learnt, it’s the importance of connectedness and family and relationships. Not being able to see people has reminded us about how valuable they are.’’
You can consider introducing small rituals to foster togetherness, such as looking back at old family photos or tracing your family tree.
Sharp suggests a group gratitude exercise in which you go around the dinner table and state what you most appreciate about someone seated with you.
There will remain some who will be unable to see loved ones, particularly those with family overseas. For these scenarios, make the most of video calls. Inject some fun into them by getting dressed up, eating ameal together or playing games. – Sydney Morningherald