All-time greats of TV thememusic
The Golden Girls, Succession and M*A*S*H – these are the TV soundtracks that stick in the mind, finds George Fenwick.
From rousing original scores to pop tunes given second lives, television theme songs have an uncanny way of worming their way into our memory and triggering waves of nostalgia. We break down 14 of the best, from the outlandish and the sentimental to the terrifying.
The Golden Girls
Thank You for Being a Friend was ‘‘just this little throwaway thing’’ that took musician Andrew Gold ‘‘about an hour to write’’.
Little did he know the sweet, simple and heartwarmingly earnest song would live on in immortality as the theme song for The Golden Girls, thanks to a cover by American jingle singer Cynthia Fee, whose warm, jolly tone opened each episode with an ode to the power of friendship.
Succession
Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t head-bang along to Nicholas Britell’s Succession theme at the start of every episode.
This brilliantly catchy score is a unique blend of old and new, with classical piano and strings meeting modern hip-hop percussion.
It’s amusical combination that often doesn’t work, but in this case blends seamlessly, creating one of the best TV earworms in years thanks to that irresistible piano trill. It’s effortlessly cool, a little funny, strangely mean, and also rather sad. In short, it sounds like Succession.
Married . . . with Children
Love and Marriage wasn’t written specifically for Married ... with Children. The song was written for television, though, first penned by Broadway and film songwriter Sammy Cahn for a TV production of Thornton Wilder’s Our Town in 1955.
Frank Sinatra recorded a version for Capitol Records that went on to become synonymous with Married ... with Children, its tongue-in-cheek lyrics perfectly summing up the sitcom’s screwball-comedy look at family life.
M*A*S*H
When M*A*S*H viewers hear the theme’s gentle strumming and soft horns, they know one of the best comedy shows of all time is on its way – but a listen to the full version with lyrics is somewhat of a surprise. Suicide is Painless, first written for the M*A*S*H film in 1970, is the ballad of aman extremely down on his luck.
Despite its glum lyrics, the song was written in jest: Director Robert Altman apparently requested ‘‘the stupidest song ever written’’ for the film.
The White Lotus’
The Muppet Show
The world of musical theatre has domain over showtunes, but why shouldn’t television shows open with literal show- tunes?
The Muppet Show leads the way in this regard, singing for the back row with the kind of Broadway song specifically concocted to get stuck in your head. One listen and you’ll find yourself whistling it while you do the dishes, expecting Kermit to pop up to have a chat at any point.
The White Lotus
Since July, every maddening, unusual or menacing thing that has happened to me – from trudging around a supermarket that has run out of aubergines to falling off my bike – has been soundtracked, in my mind, by one piece of music: The White Lotus’ theme, composed by Cristobal Tapia de Veer. I know I’m not alone in this.
The score’s hypnotic, slightly sinister cacophony of tribal calls and sharp percussion provided the perfect soundtrack to the show’s depiction of a place that is outwardly paradise, but inwardly hell.
The Capture
I don’t think I blinked or breathed throughout the six relentlessly gripping episodes of the BBC spy thriller The Capture, thanks in part to the way the opening theme grips you by the shoulders immediately. It’s propulsive, frenetic and foreboding and should henceforth be the blueprint for all spy movie and TV scores.
Neighbours
On the face of it, this song is saccharine and annoying, but everyone can sing it at the drop of a hat – a testament to the fact that it has an insanely good hook. ‘‘That’s when good NEIGHBOURS become good friEeEends.’’
Songwriting alchemy, no matter which era you grew up with.
American Horror Story
As a show, American Horror Story had diminishing returns each season, particularly when it came to genuinely good scares. But that never really mattered with a score this terrifying; each creak, each minor chord and each sudden blast burrowed right under your skin before the show even started.
Game of Thrones
Even as the quality of Game of Thrones decreased into the latter seasons, viewers’ sense of wonderment was maintained, I believe, thanks to Ramin Djawadi’s epic opening theme.
It encapsulates exactly what the fantasy genre should sound like: sweeping, majestic and highly emotional. Even as I struggled through the final season, this score still managed to raise the hair on the back of my neck.
Friends
When R.E.M. turned down a request to have one of their songs used as the Friends theme tune, Warner Bros Television wrote this now-iconic song and asked the only available band from Warner Bros Records to perform it, which happened to be the Rembrandts.
As with the Golden Girls and Neighbours themes, the song lingers in the mind thanks to a simple declaration of love: ‘‘I’ll be there for you.’’
Outrageous Fortune
Gutter Black by Hello Sailor is an immaculate and iconic New Zealand song, which made it the perfect choice for our most treasured Kiwi-as show: Outrageous Fortune. The beat’s gentle sway and Dave McArtney’s infectious vocals play as each beloved character is introduced, and the Kiwi familiarity of the song works brilliantly in the show’s favour: It feels as though you already know the Wests, like one knows and loves their slightly mad neighbours down the road.
The Bill
This British crime procedural opens with a piece of music that, nearly 40 years on from the show’s inception, is both genuinely excellent and a direct time capsule into the musical styles of the time.
It’s a prog-rock banger that rides on a brilliant retro synth hook which instantly brings back memories of The Bill’s high-stakes drama for fans, even decades on.
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
This theme is unlike any other on this list.
Its viral remix of a news broadcast that comes directly from the story of the show, with an ecstatic interviewee proclaiming his amazement at Kimmy and the other women’s escape from a cult in the season one premiere.
Fans of this show will know: Once you watch this show, you’ll find yourself singing ‘‘They alive, dammit!’’ to yourself daily, followed by that hysterical hook: ‘‘Females are strong as hell!’’