God, give me strength
Like so many other New Zealanders I recently encountered the godspam doing the rounds on social media. Plenty of us have been targeted by messages urging us to find the big guy, prepare for the second coming and join online bible groups, all punctuated – badly – by smiley face and heart emojis.
‘‘Virginia Fallon, don’t lose hope,’’ mine begins, luring me into the false belief it’s a communication from NZ Post, before a reference to my ‘‘difficult situation’’. This, of course, has me thinking it must be something from Westpac, but no, it’s from someone called ‘‘God is our Strength’’ who, according to their profile picture, looks just like Jesus.
Even discounting my banking and postal problems, I am indeed experiencing both a difficult situation and ever-diminishing hope, so figure there’s no harm in messaging back. You know, just in case. ‘‘Can you help me find something?’’
For a while God is our Strength is silent. Then, a response: ‘‘What are you looking for?’’
It’s Friday afternoon, meaning I’m both on deadline and searching for something other to do than meet it. That’ll mean I can panic later, ensuring my best work is produced under pressure.
‘‘Quite a few things,’’ I type from the bath, ‘‘but essentially proof of who I am as a person.’’
Whether God is our Strength senses a trap or just has myriad other heathens to deal with, I’m left on ‘‘seen’’. That’s sad, as I’ve been planning to carry this on for a good long while before telling him/her/them/it I’ve been searching for the driver’s licence, Onecard and press pass that have fallen from my phone case. Alas, no fun.
To be fair, what’s also no fun are these sorts of fishing exercises that prey (pray?) on people searching for much more than a bit of official identification.
Itake the lull in conversation as an opportunity to check out what else is lurking in my spam folders. In there, I find that not only are many massive windfalls heading my way, but umpteen sexy women want to meet me.
Added to that is Spark offering a $90 credit, as well as a congratulatory missive informing me I’m a candidate for inclusion in the next Who’s Who in America: ‘‘Those men and women who are influencing their nation’s development.’’
I answered only one of them, by the way, because I’m arrogant, not stupid. But nonsense aside, also not stupid are the vast majority of New Zealanders who lost at least $35 million to scams and fraud last year.
Online safety organisation Netsafe reported a 90% increase in digital harm compared with 2021; the highest number of complaints in its 24-year history.
Investment scams were the most common racket, followed by relationship and trust fraud, resulting in thousands of victims. Of course there’ll be umpteen others unreported due to embarrassment or shame. But who hasn’t done something silly for love?
And as for the godspam? A deep dive from
Stuff journalist Melanie Earley not only uncovered the creepy culprits responsible, but had Peter Lineham, an emeritus professor of religious history, cautioning against engaging with them.
Messages asking people to join an online bible group should be ignored, he said, unless it’s absolutely clear where they come from.
‘‘They’ll take your money from you and eventually ask you to give up everything in your life that doesn’t fit with their group.’’
Forewarned is forearmed: thank god for journalists, eh.