Marlborough Express - Weekend Express
I want to be popular like my twin
Q:I’m 16 and have a twin brother. He’s more popular, better at sport and more outgoing than me and everyone likes him the most, evenMum and Dad. I don’t mind that he’s better at all that stuff but I wish people would like me too. How can I change?
You don’t have to change. This must feel heartbreaking for you at the moment but it’s a long game, this business of life.
Being a twin can be a joy and a curse. Your situation wouldn’t be so obvious if you were being compared to an older or younger sibling but comparisons are more immediate with twins.
In this country, we award our sportier people with accolades and popularity. Success breeds success and so your brother will become more outgoing and confident as a consequence of his popularity.
It’s unlikely his situation will change so you have to work with it.
A:
It may seem that your parents like your brother more; they’ll be proud of his achievements and probably more involved with his many activities. But, as a parent, I can’t believe they love you any less. (Just saying).
So, what can you do? If you feel really low about this then I recommend you talk to someone. Start with your school counsellor, your GP or your parents. Your parents are probably the best place to start as they may have no idea how you’re feeling.
Otherwise, if it’s just a case of wishing you’d been dealt different cards, you should be patient. People shine and develop at different times.
Don’t see yourself as a shadow of your twin, but as a developing person in your own right.
It may help if you find interests that are not in competition with him.
It may be hard to believe now but in 10 years’ time your school days will be irrelevant.
So, find your passion and work with it.
Trust yourself that you are interesting and likeable and be proud of who you are.
Mary-anne Scott has raised four boys and written two novels for young adults including
She has a new book coming this month , called
As one of seven sisters, there aren’t many parenting problems she hasn’t talked over. To send her a question email life.style@stuff.co.nz with Dear Mary-anne in the subject line. Your anonymity is assured.