Marlborough Express - Weekend Express
Taking pride, despite the prejudice
‘‘Be sorry for being rude, be sorry for being late, say sorry for breaking someone's heart but do not be sorry for who you are.’’
American television star Ross Mathews once said, ‘‘never be sorry, be fierce’’. And that seems to be theme of my latest week as Mr Gay NZ.
When I came out for the first time, I was 17-years-old. I had been chorus dancing in a Palmerston North production of West Side Story and on closing night I begged my father to let me stay for the finishing party, and perhaps even stay with one of the cast members.
One thing led to another and I woke up in bed next to that friend.
My initial thoughts were of excitement, joy and relief, but that was very quickly overshadowed by fear and sadness.
My father was a staunch disciplinarian who sat at the head of the family table and set an example for how we all ‘should’ act.
My fear was mostly born out of no longer having his approval.
That morning, I woke, ran home and the first thing I said was, ‘‘Dad, I think I am gay. I’m sorry’’.
Whether his response to that was good or bad doesn’t really matter, it’s personal.
However, what I want to highlight is that at some point while I was growing up the notion of being gay became an apology.
Where that came from, I have no idea but even to this day, the term ‘‘gay’’ is used by some to describe a mistake or misfortune.
My message to those in similar situations is that there is actually no reason to be sorry for who you are, just as straight people don’t apologise for being heterosexual.
Be sorry for being rude, be sorry for being late, definitely say sorry for breaking someone’s heart but do not be sorry for who you are.
This week I’ve learned that fierceness comes from attacking your goals _ even if they make you uncomfortable.
The first challenge this week was filming my first online worldwide introduction.
Thankfully creative magician Aaron Falvey, also of Blenheim, volunteered his expertise for some late nights of editing.
I count myself so lucky that within Marlborough there are talented people who are willing to help at short notice.
The video was a way of introducing myself as Mr Gay NZ and highlighting the many beautiful qualities New Zealand has.
The video will be used for world voting purposes during the Mr Gay World competition in South Africa from May 21-27.
The second comfort wall I had to climb was a live radio interview with GaySA RADIO.
All contestants were invited to introduce themselves and their country. Plus share their LGBTQI campaign passions.
Speaking and thinking on the spot is always scary but if you can survive a live TV interview with Duncan Garner on The AM Show, talking on the radio is a breeze. Big tick for both.
Although when asked what I knew about South Africa the only thing that came to mind was meat. It’s well known that South Africa has a lot of meat at meal times, apparently.
Finally, with the help of Thomas’s Marlborough, I managed to tick off a formal wear photo shoot in Auckland with Jarrad Mapp.
If you’ve been keeping up-todate with my journey - this time it felt better. When you channel James Bond it seems that being photographed playing a character is much easier because maybe, just maybe, I won’t be judged for being a cheesy version of myself.
As for what’s coming up ... this week I’ll be travelling to Mel- bourne for an underwear shoot with Fred Le Marche at The Boy Project, taking some cooking classes with Lydia Schiavello from the Real Housewives of Mel- bourne and then after that it’s off to Dunedin Pride. Stay tuned.
Oh, and as for that national costume category, watch this space.