Marlborough Express - Weekend Express
It takes a village to raise a child
Shortly after moving from Sydney to the Awatere Valley earlier this year, we had heard about the school bus pick up and drop off.
For me it meant a few extra hours in the day and for the kids, it meant building lifelong friendships, exchanging Poke´mon cards and learning the ropes of the valley all whilst bouncing around on our ‘‘forever being filled’’ pot holed road.
But what I hadn’t anticipated was Samson refusing his call for adventure to be one of the kids on the bus.
His refusal had come after one incident that I probably will have flash backs for life of him kicking and screaming as he went on the bus one morning and the other after an older boy said a few words to him that had instilled him with fear and anxiety that the refusal dug deep.
I consulted our trusty and amazing principal, Tania Pringle, for her advice.
We devised strategies, had conversations, engaged the kids, conquered the challenges all to be overturned by a 5-year-old that had dug his heels in even deeper. And so, I was now the valley chauffeur for what was set to be the foreseeable future.
Around the same time, we had started to see Julia Davidson in town, with all of us having gut issues after a beloved parasite decided it wanted to live in our stomachs, something I will forever be indebted to Sydney water for.
It was through these conversations with Julia about food, behaviours and little minds that we uncovered that the bus and school were a dark place for Samson, and I knew I needed to unravel these in his most informative years.
For most of last year, I had worked with an amazing kinesiologist in Sydney to unpack some of my fears and insecurities and really get to the root of who I was.
So I knew all too well that these years of ingrained fears are set in stone early in our lives and
I had a few years to support him to unravel them to ensure a wellbalanced, happy and secure little man for our years ahead.
So, if you have ever heard the saying ‘‘it takes a village’’ this was truly my first encounter of it at play.
It took a community of people, of support from our principal, all the wonderful teachers at school, our neighbours and friends devising strategies, and some wonderful professional help to get us on track.
We have just returned to the valley after school holidays and I had one goal.
That Samson was going to be on the bus and sure enough after a few more empowering conversations, peace offerings and divine interventions we have conquered the school bus fears.
He runs to get on the bus in the morning and cries if he doesn’t get to go on the bus in the afternoon.
And I have regained an additional two hours each day to work on meaningful projects, support more small businesses across New Zealand and give myself some of that time to meditate and exercise a little more than during winter.
But the experience has taught me so much more than just regaining time.
It’s taught me ...
The importance of a community as support for parents to influence in a positive way, that fears and insecurities unless unlocked early on can manifest into places and spaces we would prefer they wouldn’t.
That things that are challenging often just need love, nurturing and time and that the power of our words just need kindness, love and compassion to ensure we and our little people thrive for the future.