Marlborough Express - Weekend Express
Importance of family brought home again
It feels like I’m still getting over the death of the great Kiwi John Whittaker, who we lost in September, and now Gerard Stokes, just 65, has gone too.
In later years he’s become more famous for being the father of England cricketer Ben Stokes, but he had a remarkable career of his own, representing his country and going on to coach here and in England.
Gerard was a gutsy sort of a bloke who did not enjoy being in the limelight, and who I know took great joy from his and his wife Deb’s sons James and
Ben.
He was in Johannesburg supporting Ben, who was about to play against South Africa, when he was admitted to hospital on Boxing Day, suffering from a brain bleed.
He was diagnosed with brain cancer back in January when he got home to Christchurch.
There are few guys more famous in Canterbury league circles than Gerard, and he was very widely respected outside his hometown too, having played four games for the Kiwis in 1982 in Australia, and been an assistant coach to Gary
Freeman.
He could boast coaching stints for Wellington, Canterbury, New Zealand A, Workington Town in the north of England too, and even as national coach of Serbia.
But more importantly, despite a reputation earned in the game as a hard and tough opponent, he was a good man who refused to give up on people, something he said working with prison inmates had taught him.
He could see the good in anyone and that is a remarkable gift given to precious few.
I’ve read a few tributes to him, none more moving than this from Ben: ‘‘Most people acquire a softer side with age … we all knew he had it, he just didn’t show it that often.’’
It’s a reminder at this time of year of how important family is, so do everything you can to show those you love how much they mean to you because one day they won’t be there.
I had a bit of a reminder of what it is that’s truly important myself during the week when I visited Mt Smart Stadium and climbed the steps to the Mad Butcher Club in the Stacey Jones Lounge to remove all the league memorabilia that adorned the walls during the 22 years I have been at the ground.
It was a strange old feeling after all this time to pull the plug, especially after a Covid-hit year meant my final one at the stadium didn’t allow me to really sign-off.
TVNZ even came along and did a story on the final curtain, which is on its website, and as part of that I was asked about the important things in my life. I replied, my family, my business, and rugby league.
They didn’t ask which of those was most important, but I can tell you it would have been an easy one to answer.
I loved my business and in a career with a lot of ups and downs I made a few bob and managed to help some other people along the way.
I also enjoyed the company of some great people who I met through the game at all levels, many of them remaining close friends to this day.
But at 76, I find I get tired a bit more easily than I used to, so I’m happy with my decision to continue to support my beloved Vodafone Warriors from the comfort of the stands – or in all honesty my armchair if it’s too cold.
It’s been a blast and I’ve had a ball. But nothing comes close to the bonds of family.
You will never regret telling someone you love them, but you might well regret not saying it.