Marlborough Express - Weekend Express
Obnoxious, outrageous and awesome
What happens when you add a conspicuous amount of exposed carbon fibre to the already-inyour-face belligerence of the unapologetically supercharged V8 Range Rover Sport SVR? Well, rather obviously, you get a very fast SUV, but also a deep moral conundrum...
DO YOU MEAN BALANCING THE SVR’S PERFORMANCE AND SOUND WITH ITS EFFECTS ON THE PLANET?
No, that’s not it at all. The Carbon Edition of the Sport SVR tears me in two very different idealogical directions at once because every time I hear the mighty supercharged V8 explode into life and roar like a disgruntled bear as it accelerates obscenely off the line, my bogan side giggles like an excited schoolboy. Every. Damn. Time. It is awesome. I love it.
But every time I look at it, my anti-establishment anarchist side just wants to set it alight and laugh at the owner’s anguish as his ridiculous display of overcompensation is reduced to a smouldering pile of aluminium and carbon fibre.
The Carbon Edition adds the optional carbon fibre exterior pack and exposed carbon fibre bonnet ($19,650), carbon fibre interior trim, ($2850), a carbon fibre engine cover ($3850) and larger 22-inch gloss black alloy wheels ($3200) to the Sport SVR, taking something that is already borderline offensive, but absolutely awesome and adds an extra layer of obnoxiousness in the form of a layer of carbon fibre.
All of this carbon fibre will set you back a healthy $20,000 over the standard Sport SVR but it still doesn’t do anything tangible, apart from letting everyone know you had a spare $20,000 to waste.
OK, and it is terrible for the planet too, but, man that V8 is something else.
SO IT SOUNDS GOOD THEN?
It sounds superb. But then that mighty 5.0-litre SVR V8 always has in everything Jaguar Land Rover choose to wedge it into.
In the Range Rover Sport it isn’t quite as feral-sounding as it is in a Jaguar, but the bellow it emits under full-throttle is hair-raisingly primal, with that deep-down lizard part of your brain being triggered into a fight or flight response every time you hear it. Which is handy, because the Sport SVR will happily fight and fly.
But there is another level to the noise, because if you decided to go full ‘‘my neighbours hate me’’ by slipping it into sport mode, it gets even more aggressive, with a barrage of bangs and pops on the
RANGE ROVER SPORT SVR CARBON EDITION
Base price: $234,900
Powertrain and economy: 5.0-litre supercharged petrol V8, 423kW/700Nm, 8-speed automatic, AWD, combined economy 12.7L/100km, CO2 292g/km (source: RightCar).
Vital statistics: 4879mm long, 2073mm wide, 1803mm high, 2923mm wheelbase, luggage capacity 780 litres, 22-inch alloy wheels.
We like: Brutal performance, obnoxious noise, impressive handling, superbly comfortable.
We don’t like: Brutal thirst, obnoxious amounts of carbon fibre.
overrun that borders on utterly unnecessary. It both is and most definitely isn’t utterly unnecessary, of course, which is the beauty of it.
The mighty V8 also offers simply mind-melting performance, with the feral roar accompanying eye-widening acceleration that doesn’t ever seem to let up before your nerve does as it rockets from a standing start to 100kmh in 4.5 seconds, and then well beyond.
You do have to remain aware of its sheer heft heading into a corner, however, as the Sport SVR is still a very big, rather tall chap – even hunkered down almost alarmingly low on its air suspension. It handles impressively well for something so big, tall and heavy, but a slowin, brutally aggressive-out approach is required. Luckily, the SVR also has spectacular brakes.
YOU
Yeah, except that other part of me still wants to spraypaint ‘‘c..k, p..s, Partridge’’ along the side every time I catch a glimpse of the excessive carbon fibre. Which, as mentioned earlier, is literally everywhere, and is totally pointless.
SO YOU
LIKE IT THEN?
HATE IT THEN?
No. Despite my eat-the-rich pointless posturing, I still love it, because everything about driving it is just so awesome.
I can’t, however, see the point in buying it when the standard SVR is every bit as awesome, yet also cheaper and is not going to make you look like quite such a massive knob.
Oh, then of course, there is the fact that the sheer conspicuous consumption of a 5.0-litre supercharged V8 in a vehicle weighing more than two tonnes is offensive to anyone who breathes air. But that is a whole different idealogical struggle, and one that you really should be having if you are wealthy enough to waste an extra $20,000 for carbon fibre bits on your $200,000-plus SUV.