Of course the US would beat us if they played rugby

other countries would quit.’’

Cue very upset people being upset, offended and really pissed. Mr VV had the perfect response. ‘‘Who knew messing with rugby twitter was so easy!’’ I worry that UK scribe Stephen Jones told him that winding up rugby fans was like beating the Blues . . . at the moment. I’m sure they’ll come right.

Guys, chill out and have a little think. No, college rugby was not the best way to form an opinion about the elite players however, if America did put its from the NFL.

Obviously we don’t want to pick up that bad habit of players relying on the coaches to do all the thinking. And all that hanging around waiting is annoying. And the endless anthem singing is a bit much. Then there’s the pad thing. Oh and they can’t kick on an angle. But despite all that, you’d be a Trump-sized ignoramus if you thought they couldn’t catch up.

But, don’t you worry your little oval balled brains about that. South Africa and Wales have been working together behind the scenes to save us.

Last weekend they played an exhibition match in Washington DC. Someone forgot to promote it so only around 20,000 turned up. The poor things watched confused and bored as the most dire game unfolded.

They put them through waterboarding, otherwise known as endless reset scrums. Reset after reset until even the commentators begged for respite. Then they tried to kick the game into submission with aerial ping pong.

The game started to resemble a melting glacier before climate change sped things up. It did improve but we can only hope that by the end, Americans and even the few expats who made the effort to attend, were completely turned off.

Genius! It will give us at least a few more years before America contemplates rugby again. Best thing to do is keep the sport small so they don’t feel like taking it over.

Fortunately world rugby is already doing that by failing to get the Pacific Islands up and running. Ha! And they think we don’t know how to play the game ...