Nelson’s trial by fire

the Victim Support service co-ordinator for the Tasman Hub, and her team is one of the go-to agencies for ‘‘psychological first aid’’.

She empathised – she was on mandatory leave for the first few days of the fire and, like so many of us, watched it all unfolding from the sidelines. She is familiar with that ‘‘awful feeling’’ of helplessness and said that something like this does affect the whole community, as we’re all watching the events unfold.

As citizens, of course we want to be helpful, but we also worry about interfering or getting in the way.

‘‘I can understand how overwhelming it can be,’’ Donna empathised.

Her advice? Grab a couple of cans of food and take them down to the help centres. Ask what they need, or what you can do to help. They’ll know.

‘‘Even just going there, even if you just want to sit … to be able to see how people are coping, that might be all you need to calm yourself.’’

She said that anything that anyone does is helpful, ‘‘because it’s helpful to themselves as well’’.

She was also worried about people feeling triggered by the event even if they are not directly affected. After last year’s emergencies, it’s an understandable concern.

‘‘There’s no harm in ringing us and letting us know that the situation is,’’ she urged, and if the situation is worse than that – if you are struggling to sleep or eat – then talk to your GP so that they can refer you to the right help.

As we chatted, I used myself as the example – I feel uncertain, I feel helpless, I feel guilty.

When we had almost finished chatting, she carefully asked. She understood I was drawing on my own experiences to highlight a wider feeling in the community but … was I okay?

It was a simple but surprisingly powerful query, and just answering it me feel better than I have in days. If you can do nothing else, look after somebody else’s humanity by asking them that question.

Victim Support’s helpline is: 0800 842 846.