Ah You’s near fatal battle
New Zealand rugby player Rodney Ah You has admitted to nearly taking his own life as he battled the pressures of the game and pleasing his family.
The 30-year-old now plays for the Newcastle Falcons in England after a long stint in Ireland that saw him play three tests in the green jersey in 2014.
The former New Zealand agegroup representative and Canterbury prop revealed his mental health struggles in a short film called Tamaloa which tells his tale of a rugby life in both hemispheres.
Born in Wellington and schooled in Christchurch, he had a difficult relationship with his father who was critical of his performances, just as Ah You was himself when playing in New Zealand.
‘‘All those bad moments with my dad after rugby, I just bottled it all up,’’ he said.
‘‘I didn’t realise how negative I was. It was always like, ‘that was a s**t game’. The whole time, I just never liked who I was,’’ Ah You says in Tamaloa.
‘‘It got to the point when I was 21 where I didn’t care if I died. I got pretty bad during the night sometimes. [Thinking] If I just take a big truck and smash into a car, that will be me done.’’
It got so bad he sent his wife Bella a text message saying goodbye.
Bella was quick to reach out to friends and they got to Ah You in time to take him to hospital.
‘‘She called my flat-mates to check up on me,’’ Ah You said.
‘‘They asked what I was doing. They were the ones who took me to the hospital. The whole time I said, just don’t take me there. The doctor said it was a good thing that I came when I did, any longer and I would have been dead.’’
Ah You sought treatment for his struggles. ‘‘It took a while for me to open up to a psychiatrist,’’ he says in Tamaloa.
‘‘The first session was just an awkward silence. After a few months, it was like letting go in a way. It gave me new ways to retrain my mind.’’
That included revealing his problems to his team-mates.
‘‘I told the squad I was suffering with depression. It took years, but now I can say I’m a good person. I like myself now.’’
Ah You played eight seasons for Connacht and Ulster before transferring to the English scene with Newcastle last year.
He couldn’t help them avoid relegation and is now approaching a season in the second division.
Able to play on both sides of the scrum but more at home as a tighthead, his three tests for Ireland came against Argentina, South Africa and Georgia, winning all three.
He won world under-19 and under-20 titles with New Zealand in 2007 and 2008 respectively before heading north to join Connacht in 2010. Patrick Bevin believes he can challenge for a medal at next year’s Olympic Games despite falling agonisingly short of a historic podium finish at the Road World Championships in Yorkshire.
The CCC rider blitzed the 54km course in a competitive time of 1 hr 7mins2.51secs to finish fourth place in the men’s time trial yesterday.
Although he was well beaten by Australian Rohan Dennis, who defended his world title in comprehensive fashion, Bevin was rapt to end an injury-disrupted 2019 by achieving New Zealand’s best-ever result in the event. He was only two seconds behind third place-getter, Italian Filippo Ganna.
‘‘It’s an improvement. I was eighth last year and fourth this year so it was nice to keep that progression going,’’ Bevin said.
‘‘Obviously you always want more, I don’t think anyone finishes worlds and is truly happy within themselves about that result because we do this to