Guildford: I was having suicidal thoughts
Former All Black Zac Guildford has opened up on the suicidal thoughts which drove him back to New Zealand.
The 30-year-old was offered a contract in France last year, one he leapt at before putting his declining mental health first and deciding to return home in a bid to save his life.
‘‘I thought I’d resurrect my professional career and iron out all the stuff I’d done wrong in the past,’’ Guildford told Woman’s Day.
‘‘But the pressure was too much. I was having suicidal thoughts. I knew if I didn’t leave the country then and get home to my support, I wouldn’t be here any more.’’
Guildford now lives in Hamilton and fronted for East Coast in the recent Heartland Championship.
It’s a far cry from his days as a Crusaders and All Blacks try-scoring machine, who helped New Zealand win the World Cup on home soil in 2011.
Two years earlier, his father suffered a heart attack in the stands and died while watching Guildford play for the New Zealand under-20s in the World Cup final. His career took a turn for the worse due to alcohol and mental health, with Guildford saying he hadn’t yet processed the death of his father in 2011.
According to Woman’s Day, Guildford developed a secret thousanddollar-a week drug habit while playing for French club Clermont in 2015, when his contract was terminated after testing positive for cocaine.
Guildford now works as a teaching aid for teens with intellectual disabilities and is reportedly in a good place.