Beautiful game’s dodgy wardrobe turns heads
It’s the gift that keeps on giving!
This is not the time to focus on the miles on the clock or the slightly dated, battered look. This is a classic! Your saviour!
Think of the experience and he’s saying all the right things. Anyway, you’re desperate so this is not the time to be negative about your re-gifted football manager. This is definitely the middle-aged, white man for your club!
It’s the beautiful game with the dodgy wardrobe. Dress it up how you like but English football has a bad habit of re-gifting well-used managers, hoping they will be the one to turn the club’s fortunes around.
Whole careers have been crafted from endless failures.
Six English premier league managers have disappeared from the sidelines already this season.
Grab the popcorn folks because we’re only halfway through the season!
There’s more pain and agony to enjoy before the next one falls and the club puts their faith in yet another great white hope.
Sam Allardyce is the gift you don’t even have give.
He’ll just climb in to the kit bag of the next club when they’re not looking.
In November when he took control of Everton, he’d had more premiership clubs than Wayne Rooney had had hair transplants; seven in total.
Right now he’s looking more secure than the plugs, enjoying the ‘new manager bounce’ with seven games and no losses. So what’s the secret to this dramatic turnaround?
According to the man himself, it’s playing it safe. Brilliant. Don’t do anything stupid lads!
Like Big Sam, Roy Hodgson’s had more clubs than you’ve had hot dinners.
Even a stint as England manager didn’t kill off his career.
Now, he’s attempting to save Crystal Palace from the relegation zone after replacing predecessor Frank de Boer who lasted a whole 77 days.
Hodgson and David Moyes must be blessed with magical ability, the way they float above the rejects in the lucky dip box.
In November, West Ham took Moyes off the top of the pile even though his career has struggled since he fell head first into Sir Alex Ferguson’s enormous shoes at Man United.
The odour coming off the Hammer’s season looks like overwhelming him.
If you want to be liked then football management is not for you.
After 900 years in charge of Arsenal, Arsene Wenger has become the antique fans think they’ve dropped off at the opshop until he spookily appears back on the mantelpiece.
Over at arch rivals Manchester United, Jose Mourinho tells everybody he is ‘the great one’, a gift from the gods and yet operates like a possessed Chucky doll.
Unless your name is Pep Guardiola and your Manchester City team has an unassailable lead at the top of the table halfway through the season, then you should invest in a set of suitcases.
There is little room for nostalgia and loyalty in the league when there’s money at stake and the relegation zone is calling your name.
Maybe the re-gift club should take note of Mark Hughes.
For four years he’s coached Stoke City to three consecutive ninth place finishes before dropping to 13th last year.
The club has been loyal but now it’s rumoured the axe is hovering and so he’s come up with the best game plan he’s devised his entire career, remind them it could get even worse. Genius! From deep in his own half Hughes played the longest ball, telling the media that sacking him won’t necessarily improve the club’s fortunes.
He then chested it down in the opposition penalty area but adding the fear inducing line :’The grass isn’t always greener’.
And with that he slid the ball through the keeper’s legs into the old onion bag.
The true champions play to win.
How many managers have stayed in the re-gifting pool because club bosses would rather pick someone who’s been there before and failed than take a chance on a manager with potential?
Football is a conversation dominated by money and the transfer window is an expensive place to shop.
There’s no time for potential when there’s a handy shelf full of middle aged white guys happy to go around and around.